Dark Shadow Fades with the Light
by Zodiacfiend
Summary: Post TLJ. Rey & Ben try to navigate the difficult waters of love and attraction all while being on opposite sides of the war. How will their destinies play out? Who will decide to give in to whom? Not-so-slow burn. Rated M for smut in later chapters. (Update) no spoilers for TROS but subtle nods may be included.
1. Decide Your Destiny

**AN:** Hello! I'm super excited about starting this story so I hope you all enjoy it. Please feel free to leave a comment or review, it really helps to keep me motivated to write. (updated)

Chapter 1: Decide Your Destiny

It was only half an hour after the doors of the ship closed and broke off the force connection between Rey and Kylo Ren. The look of his face ingrained into her memory, …intense remorse and sorrow.

Chewbacca was piloting the _Falcon_ towards their new destination, one of the moons of Kashyyyk. They could temporarily hide out there while they restocked supplies from the planet, and avoided the Imperial army targeting them and endangering whoever was helping them.

Everyone in the resistance was preoccupied doing something. Poe was co-piloting with Chewy, while Leia was overseeing all of it. Finn was taking care of an injured Rose with tender affection. The sight of this was pure and caring, making Rey smile at them. When she turned away from the sight, a stabbing pain hit her in the heart and it throbbed.

She found the tiny engine room of the ship and decided to set up her sleeping quarters there. She made a cot for herself and settled in, she was physically and emotionally _drained_. Sleep seemed to evade her however, so she tried to focus her breath and meditate in an attempt to ease her stress.

She was visualizing the beautiful scenery she had seen back on Takodana. The abundance of water, forests of green trees that stretched out for miles, and the way the sunset glowed orange on the water as it fell.

She was staring off into the sunset, when thoughts of Ben came surfacing up like bubbles in simmering water. The landscape slowly began to dissolve away, and the air got still; it was as if the whole universe held its breath in silence. Suddenly, the sound of a heartbeat and slow ragged breathing crept into her ears.

 **"…Rey…"**

"…Ben?..."

The image of Ben came into her vision. He was sitting on the bed in his personal quarters, wearing only his sleeping pants. His hands were covering his face, lips trembling, and chest slowly heaving up and down with tiny sobs here or there. He was crying.

Rey's heart throbbed in pain again, seeing him like this. She knew they were both to blame for each other's current misery. She wished she knew what to do, to make it better, make it okay. She was scared to talk to him, was he mad enough at her to kill her? She knew that he couldn't do anything through the bond so she attempted to build up the courage to say something. She failed miserably.

He inhaled deep and wiped his face like he was suddenly aware of her presence. **"You're here."** He slowly looked up into her eyes; his were red and full of despair. **"I thought you would have completely closed our Force connection."** His voice was gentle, surprised and at the same time, hopeful.

Rey gazed at him, it was one mixed of sadness and longing; she desperately wanted to end both of their loneliness. She just couldn't let go; turn her back on the first friends she'd ever had, because they were like family. "I wouldn't do that Ben, I care too much about you. I would miss you."

She didn't know why she said it, but it felt good to be honest about how much she was hurting after seeing him hurting the same way. "Ben? Can I ask you something?"

He was silent and face unreadable, she took it that he was debating weather or not to concede. **"Yes."**

"Why do you feel the pull towards power? Why are you so determined to be the _Supreme Leader_?" Her face and voice went from grief to anger, at the words 'supreme leader.'

He continued to look at her with sad eyes. His honesty came out in a quiet whisper; **"I've been hurt all of my life Rey. Everybody who met me knew who I was and was terrified of me because of it. With true power no one can hurt me and I'll have the respect I deserve. I can end the war and the suffering it's caused. I can bring balance to the Galaxy. Rey…we could bring balance…together."**

He sounds like the entitled prince _Kylo Ren_ , just like in Snoke's throne room all over again, thought Rey. She pushed that thought aside because she was here to try to understand where he was coming from. She knew if they were going to move forward from this that they both had to work on their tempers, and he had been using restraint.

"I've told you Ben…I don't want to let the past die. I finally have friends and a place where I feel like I belong, a family. I've only just found that and I'm not abandoning it. Power isn't balance." Her eyes were welling up with tears; she wished he didn't see.

"There will always be people unhappy with living under the Imperial Order. They will rebel against you, weather it's in ten years, or fifty…." She trailed off and tried to focus on the point she wanted to make.

"The only way to truly extinguish any resistance is to demolish what they are trying to rid the galaxy of. If the First Order were to collapse, than the resistance would be no more, and everyone would finally resume their normal lives." He listened to her point of view patiently; he desperately wanted to understand her.

"Ben, do you want to know what happened after the time we touched hands?" He looked questioningly at her wondering what she was getting at. She showed him through her memories; her confronting Luke, Her telling Luke that Ben was their last hope of winning the war, and that she was going to come to him because she knew that he would turn.

When the memories ceased, both of them were silent for a moment. "I believed in you Ben… I still _do_. I'll hold on to the hope that; you will stop caring about power and the Order, and come be with me instead."

 **"I can't just grab my things and abandon everything I've worked hard to create for myself here!"** His anger was finally building up in him. " **I'm in charge of so much now and it needs my direct attention. And it's not like your resistance buddies will welcome me there with open arms!"**

He gave an exasperated sigh, " **It's exactly the same as last time; neither of us is willing to give up on what we already have."**

"Why the hell can't we?!" Rey was crying hard now, sobs making her shoulders shake. "I never knew what I was missing in my life until I got to know you, the real you…Ben. All I want is understanding, compassion, and companionship but now I see that I'll never have that… will I?"

His face was sorrowful at seeing her cry like this. She was pleading with her eyes for him to tell her otherwise; that what she was about to say was wrong. "I'll never get to have…you…"

The force bond disconnected.

She was back in the engine room on the Falcon with massive tears flowing down her face. She broke down and sobbed herself into slumber.

"I'll never get to have…you…" The words Rey said replayed repetitively in Ben's head. He lay down under his bed sheets and sobbed himself into slumber.


	2. Potential Friend?

**AN:** (updated).

Chapter 2: Potential Friend?

Rey awoke to the sound of Finn knocking on her door. "Rey! Wake up, we're here!"

She rolled herself out of bed; grabbed fresh clothes, pulled on her boots and took off running out the door and towards the main room.

They had landed; the surrounding landscape was a jungle climate, it was just as lush and humid as the planet below. They had landed in front of a small collection of abandoned buildings that was once a military lookout post for the New Republic.

Everybody immediately de-boarded the ship wishing to stretch and began investigating what condition the wiring and plumbing were in. Poe asked Rey if she would come with him and two other people, on a mission to clear out some varmint-type critters out of the dining quarters.

They quickly set traps for the critters, releasing them as they were caught and begun to give everything a good cleaning. They split up into two groups; one to clean the kitchen and the other the dining room. Poe and Rey decided on cleaning the dining room. There was a thick layer of dust on the benches and floor, so they were using wet cloths to remove that before wiping it down with cleaner.

"Sorry for asking you to do something as menial as dispersing pests and scrubbing floors." Poe chuckled at the end of his sentence. His features lit up and the sound was blissful.

"Oh don't be, it's fine. I'm happy I can be of help." She smiled at him, she was glad to have another potential friend like how Finn was at first.

"So… Finn tells me that you have a really good knowledge of machines and mechanical parts?"

"Yeah, I spent most of my childhood scavenging crashed ships and machines in the desert on Jakku." She couldn't meet his eyes as she said this. Everyone she ever told had all reacted the same; looked at her with pity and sadness. She couldn't stand it sometimes.

"…Was that because it was your hobby? Or…?" He didn't try to comfort her in any way. He simply made heart of the difficult subject matter, as she guessed was his usual way.

She chuckled lightly and play hit him on the arm, smiling. "Yes Poe…I spent all my time in blistering hot metal things all day because I had nothing else better to do." She laughed again feeling that joking about it helped her heal the pain that it has caused her.

He also laughed heartily at her response and his ears turned red slightly at the sight of her smile. Rey recognized that this was strange and took note of it. Rey noticed how striking his features were. He had light brown, curly hair and warmth in his eyes and smile.

Once the cleaning was done they reported back to General Organa. She de-briefed the group about the progress they had made and what remained to be done. When she was finished, she dismissed them all for the day.

Rey was looking around for Finn, she was curious about how Rose was doing. "If you're looking for Finn, he's already gone back to Rose." Poe had come up from behind, he was quick to find her after the meeting had been dismissed.

"Oh…I see. I just wanted to know how she was doing. I guess I'll just ask him tomorrow." She was about to walk away when he caught her attention by asking…

"Mind if I walk you to your new quarters?" Poe was looking a touch bit nervous; why was he giving her so much attention? Did he want something?

"Uhh, sure." They set off down the hallway at a leisurely pace, in awkward silence. Rey had the impression that his behavior wasn't exactly normal, even if she didn't really know this man at all yet.

They made idle chitchat the short distance to the women's sleeping quarters. They arrived at her room and she wondered what he really wanted to talk to her about. She stopped walking and turned to look at him. "Well, this one's mine."

"…Rey… I know we don't really know each other very well but… I'd like to. I think you're incredible and…I really like you." He was close to her face and his expression was soft and sincere.

Rey froze in shock. He liked her, and not just liked… really liked. She was completely lost on how to handle this situation. It was so different from how things were between her and Finn. He had been her friend and they only cared about each other in the way that friends do.

Before she could really say anything time slowed as; he closed his eyes, leaned forward and kissed her lips tenderly. As soon as she felt soft lips on her own, she felt a warm sensation throughout her. She was curious and kissed him back for a second. This was her first kiss and she wanted to see what it was like.

She pulled away blushing. Opening the door, she slipped though it quickly as she said, "I gotta go, see you tomorrow!" and closed the door. She immediately put her back to the door. Once the sounds of his footsteps were gone, she let out a huge sigh and sank to the floor in relief.

 _Great, just great, what am I going to do about this?_ She was pacing around and thinking to herself about how to deal with Poe going forward. She knew that she was already an emotional mess due to her and Ben's unique situation. She wasn't going to lie to herself though; Poe was attractive, and the thought that he was attracted to her… excited her. She never had been wanted like that before. She believed that Ben was also attracted to her in this way, but the closest they had been to physically expressing it was when they touched hands.

She realized how much she wanted to be physically close to Ben. She decided to do the only thing one can do when stressed and pent up in more ways than one…and that's take a bath. She ran the water and got in. The warm water washed over her naked body causing her to sigh in relaxation. She started to daydream while touching herself sensually.

She imagined Ben shirtless again and sitting on his bed. She wasn't wearing much and he was thrilled about it. She stalked him like her prey, eyes filled with hunger, or was it lust? As she approached him, she straddled his lap and kissed his full lips. Her fingers pumped into herself. She imagined how it would feel to have his tongue collide with hers as she pictured them kissing passionately. She heard things she desired to hear him say _…I love you…_ "Bb-een-nuh!" She rode out her release while saying his name, loudly.

A second later, the familiar feeling and lack of sound that indicated the Force bond began. She only had a half second to stand up and wrap a towel around her, before the image of Ben appeared in front of her.


	3. Call Out To Me…

**AN:** (updated).

Chapter 3: Call Out To Me…

 **"I heard you call out to me. Are you ok?"** Worry was written all over his handsome face. He was wearing athletic pants with a tank top; he had been sweating and was breathing like he had just run a marathon.

It took her a moment to respond back, the sight of him too good not to enjoy for the briefest of seconds. "Hmm… yes I'm fine, thanks." She blushed, realizing that she was checking out his body.

He had just realized that she was completely _naked_ except for her towel. She was glossy with water running down her skin, so beautiful to him that he couldn't look away, as a droplet caressed the inner side of a breast. He was so occupied taking in her appearance that he didn't notice her doing the same.

Tilting his head in question at the sight of her face turning red, he wondered if it had something to do with her calling his name. **"You called out to me, didn't you?"** His tone wasn't demanding, he was intrigued as to why she appeared last time when he called out to her, and now the reverse had happened. He wanted to know why this was happening more often and how? Was their bond growing stronger?

"I was talking out loud to myself, so maybe I said you're name without realizing it?" She knew that she was a horrible liar never having learned how to while growing up. She realized just then that this still didn't explain why she was talking about him while she was in the tub. _Damn, better change the subject._

"Why are you so sweaty and out of breath?" Her voice, instead of sounding curious came out sultrier than she wished, betraying the real reason behind her curiosity, her yearning to have Ben. _Double damn,_ she thought.

He was surprised by her sudden sex appeal and felt a rush of excitement. **Could it be that she truly longs for me in the same way that I do for her?** He had been having dreams about her; ones where they caressed and kissed each other nonstop, whispering sweet nothings to each other. He had to find out for sure, so he decided to probe further.

 **"I was working on training exercises. Why do you want to know?"** He raised an eyebrow at her and slowly inched closer to her. His body was equally as glossy as hers was but Rey could smell the light earthy smell of his sweat.

Rey was getting panicky and flustered. She knew that he was onto her and she did not want him to find out what she did, that resulted in this exact Force bond. It wasn't helping that he looked so freaking sexy at that moment: long raven waves sticking to his neck in places, glistening and smelling delicious enough to taste…. _Gah!_ She snapped herself out of her fantasy, noticing the result it was having on her lower body.

He saw her face twist up in panic, **She is not wanting to tell me why she called me…maybe if I ignore it now, I can get it out of her later.** He smiled down at her, a rare but marvelous sight. He moved closer to her still, **"Rey… Can I ask you something personal?"**

One part of her wanted to scream no and run into her room, while the other part was saying yes ask me anything Ben. "I suppose so."

 **"Have you been having strange dreams about… our Force connection?"** She noticed him blush deeply this time and felt the same heat on her own face at the question.

"Well now that you mention it… yes… I have." Her blush deepened, she didn't meet his eyes. Her dreams were not quite as amorous as Ben's. Hers were purely primal desire and lustful. All she felt in them were sensations she'd never experienced in life that she longed to.

 **"Ah, I see."** He was playing it casual as not to freak her out more. **"Good to know that it's not just me…"** Rey's eyes shot up to meet his. His held a sense of sincerity and vulnerability.

She simply continued to gaze into the dark pools that were his eyes. Slowly without even registering that she was doing so, she reached up her hand and cupped the side of his face. He sighed deeply at her gentle touch, eyes widened in a mix of disbelief and nervousness. This felt too similar to how his dreams would start.

He suddenly needed more of her caresses… he wanted a real kiss. He placed his hand over hers on his cheek, while placing his other hand on the small of her back with the lightest touch. She gasped at the sudden contact, a rush of warmth spreading through her core and legs.

 **"Rey…There's something that I'd like to do… but I need you to give me approval before I can."** He whispered this in her ear and she quivered at the feeling of his warm breath.

All Rey knew is that she wanted whatever he was going to give her. "You have my consent, Ben." She drew out his name with yearning.

Not a second later his lips met hers in a tender embrace. Both of them felt the air around them pulse with electricity and the hairs on their skin stood up on end. They both experienced the sensation of warm light flowing throughout each other connecting them together through their lips.

Rey let her instincts guide her further, this was her chance to show him how much she wanted him, _craved_ him. Forgetting about holding up her towel, she let go of it and wrapped her fingers in his hair. She pulled him closer to her and slowly ran her tongue along the part in his lips.

The feeling of her tongue sent him over the edge. He grabbed her under her legs, lifting her up and holding her. She wrapped her legs around his huge body with ease and moaned in response to the building tension.

They were kissing each other with mad passion, both feeling light and at peace, like this was how it was meant to be. They were beginning to pant for breaths at this point; Ben set her back down so they could catch their breaths.

They were breathing in sync and continued to gaze into each other's eyes, telling without words just how much they cared for each other. Just as sudden as the bond had begun, it dissipated. Leaving Rey breathing heavy, alone and naked in her refresher.

Ben suddenly found himself back in his physical training room. He exited and headed for his quarters to take a shower; all he could think about was all of the new and breathtaking things he had just experienced for the first time. Also, about whom he was lucky enough to experience them with… _Rey…_ His heart was soaring, he had never been this happy.

Rey put on undergarments to sleep in and crawled into bed. She knew that sleep would be extremely evasive tonight, especially after all of the events that had transpired. She couldn't help the insatiable heat that refused to leave her body. She knew her thoughts were not helping them go away either.

She fantasized about him on an endless loop until she was drifting off, to yet another steamy dream that featured the man she desired.

Ben's dreams were the same as they had been since the force bonds began with her: sensual, affectionate and vulnerable. He both feared, the effects they had on him, and desired them.


	4. Deep Breaths

**AN:** Hello again! I've recently updated all chapters that I've posted so far, so that its easier to read. I hope you all enjoy and leave me a comment! Thanks!(updated).

Chapter 4: Deep Breaths

Rey awakened and quickly decided that she would spend the day devoted to Jedi practices and studying. She knew that she needed to get caught up on her knowledge and skills: especially if she was going to have any chance at persuading Ben towards the light side. She still cared for and had sympathy for Ben, and she knew that eventually one of them would bend, to go be with the other.

She immediately showered, dressed and went outside to find a good meditation spot. She discovered a large, flat rock up on a rocky hillside and it reminded her of a similar location on Ahch-To. Sitting down in a lotus position, she began with steadying her breath to focus on her meditation; focusing on all living things around her, the cycle of birth, life, death, always repeating. She felt serene and a sense of… _balance_.

From there she planned out her workout; starting with some stretches, a light muscle-building workout, and then using her staff for some combat training. After the first two activities, Rey was feeling the effects of her workout. Her heart was thumping loudly, pushing her blood faster than when in its resting state, her face pink and breathing heavy. Her adrenalin was pumping and it was the perfect time to run her combat training drills.

She got her staff out, and begun to flow through the motions fluidly and with ease. She was feeling the force flow through her while moving gracefully, through the different battling poses, yet she thought it felt like meditation.

She kept hitting a tall rock, until it fell over at the end of her motion sequence. She smiled feeling satisfied with both herself, and with the tired ache she felt in her muscles, _Ahh… what a great workout._

All of a sudden, it was as if all of the noise was sucked out of the air and landscape, signaling the start of another force connection. Rey was standing facing the overturned rock, still breathing heavy and sweating, when the image of Ben appeared in front of her. He was dressed in his usual black attire, complete with flowing cape and gloves. His fists were balled up tight, and his face was twisted up with rage, he was obviously seething.

Despite their last encounter, Rey was feeling hurt and angry with Ben, for choosing to stay on that wretched ship instead of leaving it with _her._ She was in no mood to deal with a raging _Ren_ at the moment; her adrenalin was still pumping and she briefly thought, _Maybe we should talk about things now… we are already worked up in a sense…_

He had just noticed her presence. He took a slow, deep inhalation of breath and released it, before looking at her. Rey immediately felt her body tense up as his angry gaze met her eyes. Then his gaze softened a bit, he turned his body to face hers, and his shoulders relaxed in his effort to calm down. _No, I need you to be angry with me; we need to talk about our situation, about what is holding us back._

She gathered her thoughts before saying, "Did you know that you could have killed me back on Crait?" There was deep hurt but also interest in her voice, as she tried to downplay the seriousness of her question. His expression immediately changed to fear and shock. "I was the one firing the guns on the Falcon that day." She looked away as she quietly stated this in his direction.

In his anger on that day, Ben hadn't stop to think if she could possibly be on _that_ ship. Last he had known she had escaped in Snoke's escape ship. Overwhelming guilt flooded him as he began to recall; what he said as he pointed at the Falcon, how the TIE Fighters pursued and were eventually picked off by…Rey.

How he now regrets how his emotions got the better of him! Oh how he wished that his life hadn't lead him to where he was at the current moment, stuck being _Supreme Leader_ of the First Order. What good was all the power and resources in the galaxy, if he couldn't even be with the only person who's ever accepted him?

He was just standing there with his hands shaking from the reality that, he issued an order that could have hurt or even _killed_ Rey. The only person who: tried to understand him, could relate to him and someone he would hurt others to protect…. Rey. He knew that this was unacceptable given how they felt about each other, but that neither would abandon their causes to be together. How could they possibly meet each other halfway and just be together?

 **"Rey…No…I had no idea."** He looked away; he couldn't bear to see the anger, or worst the hurt, that he knew was written in her eyes. In a quivering voice he pleaded with her, **"Please Rey… I really had no Idea! Please know that I would never intentionally harm you."** Tears were welling up in his eyes, he felt as if a knot had formed in his gut, and it was getting harder to breathe. He hated how this lovely woman always managed to make him display his weaknesses.

"I didn't think that you knew." She was quiet but calm and open to communicate with him. "I knew that you were going to be angry when you woke up, after everything that happened in the throne room. I expected that you would soon lead an attack to try to snuff out the Resistance as well. What I _still_ don't get is, how you didn't understand that I was going to go right back to them."

 **"I'm so sorry about that day… I was blinded by rage, not thinking straight… and I know that's unacceptable."**

She slowly walks towards him, sighing she continues on. "Your anger is out of control Ben, I'm sure you know this by now. You become so rash and unpredictable, it's dangerous. I know that Snoke had used your emotions against you, trained you to use them to make you stronger with the dark side… and I understand. I have realized recently, that I channel my anger and fear from the dark side of the force when I fight, and I feel the pull that it has in those moments."

Rey is within arms reach; she grabs his hand, pulls off the glove in one motion, and affectionately places her hand in his. The sensation of their skin touching felt like cold electricity was flowing through them. Her gaze was so passionate that Ben felt like it penetrated his soul." I want to help you… please let me help undo the emotional damage that Snoke and others have caused you. I know that I can help… if you let me."

It's her turn to plead to him and she does so through; her gentle voice, and the intense look of affection and hope in her eyes. "We need to help each other Ben, because… we're the last known force users. Doesn't that mean something? We know that the force bond continues despite Snoke being dead. Even if he did create it, which I doubt, it seems to me that the force may even want us to work together to restore balance."

 **"Rey, if you still want to help me after everything that I've done, than I can't refuse. I know that I don't deserve your compassion for me, but I can't push you away. I know that I'm impulsive in the heat of the moment, and I would like to learn how to have more control over myself. I really despise my lack of control."**

 **" Rey… do you truly think that you can help me?"** His eyes were reflecting his complex combination of feelings: hope, longing, compassion, and vulnerability. Although still dark brown, they suddenly had an outer ring of golden, honey brown to them. Unknowingly, he stroked her hand that was holding his own, with his thumb.

"I promise you, that I will do everything that I can to help you Ben. All I ask in return is for you to do anything you can, to help us… find a way for us to be together." She knew that this was a lot to ask of him; but if someone was going to have a change of heart about where his or her life was going, she didn't want it to be her.

 **"I promise, sweetheart."** The words left his mouth before he even thought about what he was saying. He immediately blushed and started to recoil his hand away from hers, but Rey caught him with her other hand.

"No… don't leave. I liked that you called me that. I've never been called by any endearing names before." She looked away shyly, blushing now. Ben gently grabbed her chin with his hand and pulled her face back to facing his. They stared into each other's eyes.

 **"I'll call you whatever you want me to… sweetheart."** He knew perfectly well where he had picked this word up from, or who from more exactly, but it didn't seem to bother him in this moment. Surprisingly to him, it actually felt _right_.

Just as the urge to lean forward towards each other occurred to them, the force bond quickly dissipated.

Rey took a slow, deep and calming breath, _…Damn._


	5. Reacting Without Thinking

**AN:** Hello all! I worked diligently on this chapter so I hope that you find it to be substantial. Please review or comment on what you think, I'm dying to know your opinions! Thanks & enjoy, (ZF)

Chapter 5: Reacting Without Thinking

Rey was on her way back towards the temporary rebel base, thinking hard about everything that had happened to her over the past couple of days. Once she reached the clearing, she saw that Finn was waiting outside the entrance.

"Rey! Where have you been lately?" He was glad to see her and you could tell that he had missed spending time with her.

"Hey Finn, I've been spending some time alone trying to train myself and study the force." This was true, but she felt slightly guilty that in reality, she was spending time alone so that she could talk with Ben. She worried constantly about how people would react if they knew how close her and _Ren_ were. "I've been meaning to ask you, how is Rose doing?"

"She's recovering surprisingly quick. I practically have to babysit her in the sick bay though she keeps trying to leave her bed to go help out. " He laughed at Rose's stubbornness.

"I'm glad to hear that she's doing well." Rey may not have had a chance to get to know Rose yet; but she saw how Finn acted at the mention of her, and believed that she must be a good person.

Finn and Rey walked together inside, heading towards the mess hall for breakfast. "Rey. I've talked to Poe…"

She froze in her tracks. She hadn't really thought about what happened between them. since it happened. She just thought that she could avoid him for a while until the awkwardness faded a bit.

"Finn, I… what did he say exactly?" She was more anxious than she had ever been in her whole life. She was fiddling with her hands and shuffling from foot to foot, without realizing it.

"He told me about what he said to you and how he, 'reacted without thinking'." He finger quoted the phrase, indicating these were Poe's words exactly.

"Oh… was he upset?" Her face grimaced in worry that somehow both Finn and Poe could be upset with her about this. She loathed the thought that; this small incident could cause losing any or all of the only friendship she's ever had.

"Relax, he's fine. Just wants to know if you're avoiding him, that's all." Finn kind of half grinned then stopped walking to face her. They had reached the doors to the mess hall now.

"Uh! No! Of course I'm not…" A lie.

"Oh, good. Then your fine with eating breakfast with him?" He knew that this could get a little awkward, but they just needed to talk to each other. He was going to be there for moral support for both of them. He really wanted his two friends, to be friends with each other too.

"Uh… Yeah." She was going to pretend that the kiss never happened. Only acknowledging what he said to her, _"Rey… I know we don't really know each other very well but… I'd like to. I think you're incredible and…I really like you."_

She wanted to get to know him too, as the incredibly skilled pilot Dameron, but not because she was interested in him in a _romantic_ kind of way.

Finn opened the doors and they proceeded inside. Poe was already seated, food in front of him, with his droid BB-8 by his side.

"Do you want me to come with you now, or go get our food while you two…chat." He wanted to be as helpful to Rey as he possibly could.

Rey thought for a second, "If you don't mind, I would be fine while you get us our food. I'll be alright for a second without you." She smiled at Finn he was a great friend.

As soon as she sat down in front of him, he spoke. "Hey, look I'm really sorry for reacting without thinking, and um… kissing you, I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

"Poe, it's fine. You didn't offend me it's just…" She looked him in his eyes; she wanted to tell him about how her situation was complicated, but how could she without mentioning _Ren_? "I'm sorry that I've been avoiding you."

"Ha! I knew it." Suddenly his expression was smug like she was doing something immature and silly. He jokingly laughed, "Don't worry about it."

"It's just that… I'm kind of involved with someone else right now… but it's complicated." She knew it sounded vague but it was all she could think of to say.

"Look I get it, I've been there and I understand. I hope that it works out for you." His smile was sincere and it was easy to see that he was a genuinely kind person.

Rey started questioning him about, all the different places that he's ever been to. They were getting excited and animated, clearly having a good time.

"Hey guys. Here you go Rey."

Finn handed her a tray that contained; a plate with eggs, toast and some wild local boar meat, and a mug of coffee.

They all had an enjoyable time during their meal and the conversation was lively. Afterwards, Rey retired to her quarters. She sat down on her bed and delved into one of the Sacred Jedi Texts. An hour went by, and then the already quiet surroundings seemed to silence. The warming sound of a heartbeat, loud and strong, started to crawl into her ears.

 _The force bond,_ Rey knew exactly what this was. She looked up and there he was, sitting at a desk it appeared. She realized that she could see the objects that he immediately interacted with; like his chair and the desk, while not being able to see the other things on the desk.

He looked up and smiled at her, **"Rey."**

She blushed slightly at the sight of his beautiful smile. She briefly pictured; their first kiss both heated and passionate, and then their last encounter, which was very emotionally, intimate. Her heart starts to pound loudly and nervous flutters begin in her stomach.

 **"What are you reading?"** He had set down the paperwork and pen he had been holding, and had his hands together on the desk.

"Oh, It's a Sacred…Jedi Text." She was nervous now and wondered how would he react.

 **"Ah, still dedicated to the ways of the Jedi I see."** His tone was almost teasing, as if he wanted to pick on her flirtatiously.

"Well yes… It's what feels right to me; what's guided me through everything, and the path that I choose." Her gaze was passionate yet determined about where she stood.

 **"Alright relax, I'm not here to try to sway your opinions. I simply want to understand them."**

"Good." She was able to relax better now, and remembered something that she wanted to ask him. "Why were you so angry earlier, you know, at the beginning of our last connection?"

 **"That would be Hux's doing"** He grimaced at saying the name. **"He is suspicious of me… believes that I had to do with Snoke's death."**

"Well, you did." She almost couldn't help saying it, did he really tell Hux that _she_ did it by herself?!

 **"Yes I know, but I would be executed for treason if Hux found that out."** He couldn't look into her eyes as he spoke, ashamed at blaming her for the death of his master. **"I'd prefer if we talked about something else."**

Rey was concerned that he could possibly be in danger; but if he didn't want to talk about it, then she wouldn't press it, at least not at this time. Anyways, she had _other_ things in mind for discussion. Her dreams about him had been replaying all day in moments when she caught herself daydreaming.

"Ok well what would you rather talk about then?" Reacting without thinking, she walked over to where he was sitting, a hand on her hip and teased at him, "How to start working on your temper?" A crafty smile spread across her face while she raised an eyebrow.

Ben stared into her face; his eyes had a mischievous look, he smiled devilish yet charmingly at her, his voice was playful when it spoke. **"I'm not exactly sure if you're going to help my temper, or make it worst, _Sweetheart."_**

Rey had to bite her lip, to keep from expressing her delight, at hearing these words from him. _Maker… he's so enchanting and handsome._ _I've got to find out what he likes._

"Well now, I guess that all depends on what you're into." His face went blank, eyes wide in pure shock at her words. His reactions were making Rey feel confident in herself; she loved the alluring banter between them, it was so different like almost everything seemed to have a hidden meaning.

 **"Mmm..."** He couldn't stop the sound that escaped from his throat, from what she was doing to him. He stood up from his chair and walked over to her. He loved how clever, strong and sexy she was.

 **"Rey…"** they stood within inches of each other, both craving the other. _"Ben."_ She took his ungloved hand in hers, trying to give him a hint that she wanted him to touch her.

It was all that was needed. He wrapped one of his huge arms around her tiny frame, supporting her back and pressing her against him. She gasped in surprise but leaned into his warm chest contentedly. Rey gazed up into his eyes, her own were hazy with yearning. He returned her gaze with one of equal intense longing.

This time, Rey stretched to meet his lips with her own. Both moaned at the sensations they shared through the force. The air around them once again pulsed with electricity; the hairs on their skin stood up, the familiar sensation of warm light flowed through each of them, and connected them together.

The next moment they were caught up in each other; Rey intertwined her leg with one of his, she took his other hand that she had been holding and placed it over the fabric of her breast.

She didn't care what he might think; she just knew that she needed to feel the things that she dreamt he did to her. She felt a small expanse of cool, darkness inside her grow, as her desire for him grew.

Ben was feeling a whirlwind of emotions flood through him. It was as if; being close to her brought forth all of his joyful memories, which he had stored away in the recesses of his brain, from the days of his youth. He felt the small stain of light grow within him.

He looked directly into her eyes, his face full of sincere affection. **"I really want to see you in person soon."** Biting his lower lip in apprehension, Rey couldn't help noticing how youthful and tender he appeared in that moment.

"I would really like that Ben." She was beaming up at him with a flush across her cheeks, she felt youthful herself. "Tell me where, when and I'll meet you. I'll trust that this isn't a trap to kidnap me, _right_?"

Her playful tone wasn't lost on him and he was quick, smirking he responded, **"Well now, I guess that all depends on what you're into."**

Rey couldn't contain herself any longer; she crashed lips for a second time, slowly dragging her tongue along each of his, before she gave him the opportunity to do the same to hers. She noticed that her nipples were erect and she felt hot and tender in her core, there was a desperate need that demanded attention.

 **"How about Takodana** , **in three days?"**

She was dizzy with excitement at the thought of seeing him in person again, and this time, there would be no distractions. "Yes, I think I can manage to get a ship and meet you there by then."

 **"Good, hopefully I'll have a little surprise for you by then."** He was elated and quite pleased with himself; he was going to meet up with her, but first he had some things that needed to be taken care of.

They could feel the force bond fading away, but it didn't feel as lonely as it usually did, they were going to see each other in three days.


	6. Thoughts & Feelings

**AN:** Hello again all! This chapter is plot development but don't worry bc next chapter will get good (promise!) Please review or comment on what you think, I'm dying to know your opinions. Hope you all like it!

Chapter 6: Thoughts & Feelings

Ben was back in his private quarters and the force connection with Rey had just ended. He had been spending a lot of his free time recently thinking about how he could help cause the eventual collapse of the First Order. His first, and biggest dilemma was of course General Hux, closely followed by the Knights of Ren.

Hux had already been giving subtle orders behind his back, so who knew what else he had been plotting. Ren despised the man and longed to kill him just for the sheer satisfaction that it would bring him.

Even though Snoke had made him the leader of the Knights, Ren knew that if his betrayal to his master were revealed to them, they would surely attempt to end his life. He knew that there was only one reliable way, to severely damage the First Order enough for it to crumble with help from the Resistance.

 ** _…I have to kill Hux and the Knights of Ren…_**

Without any resemblance of authority figures left to lead, the order was bound to fall apart. Especially without a headquarters seeing as how the _Supremacy_ was gone. Troopers were bound to defect in droves during the losing battles that would proceed without leadership.

He walked over to the refresher, running water in the sink and splashing the coolness on his face. He looked at the reflection of his face in the mirror, taking time to analyze the emotion behind his eyes. **_Stars, who am I now? I can't believe that I'm going to go through with this… I have to make sure that Rey knows what I'm planning to do before we part ways on Takodana._**

His thoughts drifted to all that was Rey; her infectious smile, her understanding, and her increasing power. He had decided while with her in their most recent connection, that he wanted to make her some sort of gift, so that she could have something from him. He quickly decided to work on making it to help him focus on why he was planning on betraying the order all over again.

He had imagined a simple necklace for her, a copper wire base with a small crystal wrapped in the middle of the wire. He happened to have a small teal crystal that he had found as a child, exploring on one of his many trips with his father and Chewy on the Falcon.

He shook his head trying to make the sudden memory disappear. The sadness he felt at the memory was rapidly replaced with anger at Han for abandoning him and failing to relate to him.

He pulled out a small velvet bag from one of his storage cabinets and retrieved said crystal from it. Next he retrieved a spool of copper wire and a pair of clippers from a nearby storage drawer. He then sat down at his desk and began to fiddle with the supplies attempting to make something delicate with his big, clumsy hands.

Rey was still in her room when the force connection ended. It was still early afternoon so she decided to see if there was any chance she could request an audience with General Organa. She walked in the direction of the Generals' offices and living quarters.

She knocked on a door that was labeled as belonging to General Princess Leia Organa. A polite, feminine voice told her to enter. She hesitantly did so and was greeted by a small office room with a sofa and two desks. Behind one sat the woman who Rey assumed had spoken.

"Are you looking to request a personal meeting with the General?" The woman had short red-yellow hair in an asymmetrical cut and was wearing a grey jumpsuit. Her eyes were kind and matched her warm smile.

"Oh, yes that's why I'm here." Rey responded with a hint of nervousness. The woman got up from her desk, "Your name is Rey right?"

Rey nodded and the woman walked towards the back of the room, exiting through a door. She returned moments later, "She will be out here shortly, please make yourself comfortable." She returned to her desk.

A minute or two later and Leia Organa appeared through the same door that her assistant had entered earlier. The assistant exited the room upon her entering.

An endearing energy swept through the room as Leia laid eyes on her. "Rey… What can I do for you?" She heard the sincerity in the woman's request and it instantly calmed her nerves.

"I have a favor to ask of you." She paused to gauge the General's reaction. Leia was calm and her expression stoic and hard to read. Rey interpreted this as a sign to continue.

"I need to somehow get to Takodana in three days time. I have something important that I need to do but it's hard to explain." She was glad that it had been said, but she was anxious now as to how Leia was going to respond.

"Well letting you lend a small, personal ship with some rations is no problem. However… I can't just let you do as you wish just because you're a Jedi. I have to at least know why you're doing this." She smiled gently at Rey but stated her words as fact.

Rey closed her eyes while inhaling deeply, calming herself down so that she could explain this situation. "I haven't given up hope that Ben could still turn away from the dark side and find balance within himself. Now that Snoke is gone, I can sense that his influence is beginning to fade from Ben as well."

"You're probably wondering how I could even know this and well, it's because I have a force connection with him." Revealing all of this sensitive information to Leia made Rey feel emotionally exposed, and she attempted to hide this by putting on an expression of determination.

"A…force connection?" Leia's eyes were wide with one of her hands covering her open mouth in pure shock.

"After I fought him on Starkiller Base we started having these moments where we could see and hear each other but not our surroundings. We actually had gotten to understand each other a bit before everything happened on the Supremacy and on Crait." Rey looked away from the General's eyes at the mention of Crait, both of them feeling the same sense of grief at the memory of Luke's final stand.

"Snoke was going to kill me… but somehow Ben tricked him and was able to cut him in two. He betrayed his master to save my life… I know that there is still good in him."

Leia was baffled and continued to stare at Rey, unmoving and with wide eyes.

"I know that it doesn't make a lot of sense but he has compassion for me. I know that he will never hurt me based on how well we relate to each other, and if I'm to be honest, I don't think I could kill him either. If I can't get him to leave the order and change the tide of the war, than I'm afraid that it will come down to that."

Rey was on the brink of tears due to her emotions for Ben, which were flooding to the forefront of her mind, with her words. Leia was motionless, processing all of the information for a few moments before she walked over to Rey. Leia slowly and gently hugged Rey and they took some time to comfort each other in their shared sorrows.

Rey patted Leia's arm signaling that she was ready to continue and they sat down next to each other on the little couch. Leia grasped one of Rey's hands with motherly affection, giving it a gentle and loving squeeze before letting go and drying her own eyes with a tissue.

"I have been talking to him again through our bond and we planned on meeting there in three days. I'm not sure how long I will be there either but I assume only a day or so." Rey desperately needed General Organa to say something about all of this, because so far, she has only asked about the bond.

"Rey, you are honorable to see the light in my son and attempt to bring him back from the dark. I will forever be thankful to you for trying whatever the result shall be." She sighed briefly before continuing, "As long as you are sure that you're not putting yourself in any danger, then I'll assign this to you as your official mission starting right now."

Rey was overcome with relief and couldn't help but smile at Leia. "Thank you so much General for listening and understanding." Leia swatted her hand in the air, "You can call me Leia dear, you're practically family to me now; seeing as how you were training under Luke, and you're trying to save my only son."

A wild gleam shone in Leia's eyes all of a sudden, making Rey feel on edge as to what she was about to say. "Can I ask you something Rey?" _Oh boy, here we go…_ thought Rey as she politely nodded her head yes.

"What exactly are you're feelings towards my son? I've noticed that you call him Ben when nobody else but Han, Luke and I still called him that after he betrayed the Jedi and his family. It strikes me as you being… rather close to him." Leia eyed Rey suspiciously but with a slight grin over her face. _Is there still hope for grandchildren after all?_

Rey flushed because unknown to Leia; Rey had happened to hear her thought, due to the penetrating strength she had put behind it without realizing. "Oh, um… well I do care about him as a person; I find him intelligent, honest and he is… understanding to me. I think he was once a good person and still is, just that he needs a little help coming back to himself."

Leia smiled a deep contentment that spread into her gaze. "Thank you Rey, I'll contact Dameron about this in the morning and we'll begin the preparations, for your departure in three days. I won't tell him any details about the mission, I'll leave that up to you given the situation we're dealing with."

Rey said goodbye and went back to her living quarters. She tossed and turned while trying to seek out slumber but it was hopeless. Her mind was bombarded with thoughts and feelings about Ben.


	7. Warmth in Close Connections

**AN:** Hey guys, the chapter started getting too long so I had to split it up into two. I promise to write up & post ch8 ASAP. Let me know what you wanna see or feel & thanks for taking the time to comment! Hope you all like it.

Chapter 7: Warmth in Close Connections

Warmth was enveloping her entire body. Rey didn't know where she was and couldn't see, but she somehow knew that she was safe and content. She could only feel in this moment emotions of bliss and a sense of true belonging.

She noticed that it felt like she was lying down on her bed and something warm yet hard, was leaning up against her backside. It felt like it was _someone_ rather than something that was there beside her.

A deep sigh was produced from the unknown person and she waited, trying to see who this could be. She wasn't afraid though because she felt a sense of familiarity by the presence that radiated off of them. She focused hard on attempting to get her eyes to work and after a few moments she succeeded.

She apprehensively turned to face the mystery person and what she found mesmerized her; a broad and tall man, with long and wavy black hair, dark brown penetrating eyes, and full lips. He had pale skin with beauty marks here and there, which accented it in a charming way. The only thing that disrupted the endless smoothness of his skin was the long scar that ran down the side of his face. She knew who this was…she gave him that scar forever marking him.

He smiled softly with his eyes lost in her affectionate gaze, and she relished this gentle, close up encounter with Ben Solo. **"Rey…"** He sighed her name with warmth and contentment. Her heart fluttered and she never realized how good this simple display of affection could feel.

"Ben… are we dreaming?" She was more lucid now, and felt more conscious; out of the heavy fog, that surrounds the mental capabilities, of people in their dreams.

His eyes were glossed over like he was in a haze but suddenly sharpened, focusing between her lips and observing her curious expression. **"Yes…I know that I'm dreaming right now. Is it really you right now Rey?"** He was looking more and more alert and afraid but needed to know the truth.

"Yes it's me. I know that I was trying to fall asleep so I guess I finally did." She was still trying to grasp how they were having a dream-based bond now too. _Is this the force's doing?_

Ben was looking panicked but attempting to remain where he was and appear calm to Rey. It didn't escape her attention that a blush was spreading across his cheeks and even making it to his ears. She couldn't help thinking that he looked adorably young and innocent.

The urge to put him at ease overcame her; she fully turned her body to face him, took his hand in hers and poured every ounce of compassion for him into her expression. "Ben, what's wrong? Talk to me."

He took a moment to think about what she said. He was afraid that somehow; she would figure out the nature of his dreams. Up to this point, they had all been about; the two of them embracing, cuddling and kissing continuously like lovers do, while whispering their confessions of love to each other.

He was afraid that she didn't feel the same way towards him. After all the horrible things he's done, how could she ever care for him like that? He didn't want to believe that there was even a chance of having that with Rey, because he felt like her rejection would break him.

Yeah sure the passion between them seemed to be there, but you could find that with someone else too. She wouldn't ever sincerely love a monster like him. He knew that he didn't deserve it…

 **"Before, when I asked you about dreams related to our force connection… I didn't want to ask back then about the meanings of our dreams. Now, I find myself both; curious about the context of your dreams, and also fearful of what you might think, if you found out mine."**

He couldn't hide his anxiety and hated how he always seemed to fall to pieces in front of her. _Why does she always seem to make me so vulnerable?_ He detested that word.

She was surprised that he thought his force bond dreams were going to change how she felt about him. If anything, he would probably think of her as a perverted sex deviant, if he found out what her dreams entailed of her doing to him. She involuntarily shuddered at the thought.

"Ben, I can pretty much say without a doubt, that my dreams are the ones that should not be revealed. I don't want you to think of me like how I'm portrayed in them." She looked away briefly.

"That's not me." She couldn't find the words to express how she was feeling. She was innocent in everything sexual, minus her recent kisses she had experienced. She really wanted to focus on helping Ben, and to do that she needed him to trust her. If he saw her in that kind of way with him, she knew that he would think that she was using him.

He felt her shift in emotions just ever so slightly. It was different from the way that his emotions came down in heavy, crashing waves, while hers were more like a gentle breeze that flowed through the air and surrounded him.

 **"Well, we don't have to tell each other anything about our dreams. I was dreaming about you before your consciousness had suddenly arrived here with me."** He was embarrassed to admit that he was dreaming about her but knew that it would help her process this confusing force dream business.

"So… you're saying that if we are dreaming about each other, and then we suddenly have a force connection, we will let each other know that we're there."

 **"Yes. I did notice that I did not become conscious from the dream until you asked me if we were dreaming."**

"Hmm, so we can possibly try to control the dreams, if we become conscious?" Rey's mind was racing; _I can figure out how to end them now, but do I want to? The possibility that he will find out is pretty high, but we will let each other know when we're having a bond. But what if he's still sleeping and just ends up dream-seeing my dirty dreams anyway?!_ Her face was contorted in a mix of dismay and consideration.

He noticed her expression, **"Rey, relax it's going to be fine. It only takes the other person, making their awareness known to the other, to pull them into consciousness as well."** Dark chocolate-brown orbs gazed with deep sincerity into her honey and emerald-green, hazel eyes.

 **"Since we both seem anxious about revealing our dreams, then I promise you that I will always wake you into awareness whenever we force connect."** Ben had always been honest with her, one of the things she appreciated most about him.

"Okay, and I promise to do the same for you too." She was barely starting to trust him again, after all of the times they had met and physically collided on the battlefield, to the hurt she felt when she came to him on the Supremacy and had to leave it without him.

They continued to lie facing each other, closing their eyes and listening to each other's calm breathing. They drifted off into sleep once more mere inches away. Their shared dream continued as a feeling of warmth and tranquility.

The next three days passed by relatively uneventful in Rey's opinion. She continued her Jedi training and studies as usual, and it was finally the day that she would be allowed to leave for Takodana. She had been spending a lot of time deep in thought over the past few days, and was now feeling unnerved about leaving.

Rey kept thinking about how; the only times that she had ever seen him, in the flesh, were when he was _Kylo Ren_. They had; fought on two occasions, she had been force-paralyzed by him, put under force-sleep by him, and had to fight off his force mind attacks, all while in person. Was this time going to be different?

The memories haunted her and she knew that she still hadn't quite forgiven him, or forgotten the fear and helplessness she'd felt when they happened. Rey would then try to turn her train of thought in a positive direction, by beginning to think about how she'd gotten to know the real Ben through the force bond.

She had discovered that they had things in common and they related to each other. They shared childhoods filled with bitter loneliness, both wanting to be anywhere but where they were, to be understood and longed for the same companionship. Also, they both hoped they could finally find that in each other, although Rey wasn't sure about Ben's feelings since the incident in Snoke's throne room.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the sudden appearance of Poe. She hadn't realized that she had walked into the ship hanger. "Hey Rey, are you about ready to go? I've made some repairs to this raggedy extra ship we had so that it would be more suitable for the journey."

"Yeah I've got my bag packed and ready to board. Do you know if Leia is coming by chance?" She hoped that she would get to say goodbye.

"Yeah she should be on her way now. Before you even ask yes, Finn should be here any second. Oh I almost forgot to mention that we've packed you a week's worth of food in case any thing should set you back. For example keep an eye on that sublight drive, it's looking shotty and might need replacing. Unfortunately we don't have any extras just laying around but I tried to clean it up the best I could."

"Thanks Poe, I really appreciate it." She gave him a quick hug and as soon as she let go she heard Finn's excited voice.

"Rey!" He was running over to her with a worried expression plastered on his face. "Are you sure you're ok with going on a solo mission?"

"Yes you don't need to worry about me Finn." She attempted her best reassurance face and hoped he bought it.

Leia's endearing energy suddenly rushed over them like a warm wave. She appeared behind the small goodbye party and Rey turned around to hug the woman.

"Rey, I want you to have this small tracking device. If you need us to come and get you, all you have to do is turn the knob and push the button that pops up. May the force be with you dear."

Rey returned the sentiment to Leia and rapidly entered the small one-person ship, before she could get emotional about saying goodbye to everyone she ever cared about.

She took inventory of the supplies she was left with and noticed that they included blankets and a good bit of water as well. She entered the coordinates of her destination after getting buckled into the pilot's chair. She inhaled deeply and centered her mind on her purpose.

She heard a voice but wasn't sure who spoke. It was a woman but she didn't think it was her inner voice. _Go to Ben… he wants to be by your side… see where this takes you two… give him a chance to embrace the light you can offer…_

She exhaled. Started up the navigation system and let the ship take her where her heart desperately wanted to go.

Within two hours she was entering the atmosphere of her destination of Takodana. Rey saw the portion of the planet that she had visited previously when visiting Maz Kanata and her castle. _Perhaps I'll visit with her before I leave, if she's not busy…_

She continued flying on for a short while, before landing in a clearing at the edge of small, but dense woods. There was a small town nearby that she could go to for anything she might need. She didn't know where to expect to find Ben as they had failed to discuss what to do once they had arrived.

 _I'll feel his presence once he's landed and then I'll just let him find me._

Rey decided that her appearance was lacking and changed into something that could be useful for both combat or for showing off her athletic yet feminine figure. She put on; brown leggings that went down to her toned calves, a green-grey tunic style top that had a deep 'V' shape and no sleeves.

She also wore new brown ankle boots that were flexible and durable, just as she preferred. Her hair was mostly down except for the top section, which was pulled back into a tiny ponytail. She had recently learned from other women at the Resistance base about skincare, and decided that she would try her hand at cosmetics now. She had some time to kill anyway.

She first put lotion on her face lightly, and then she used brown and green eye shadows. She continued with mascara and a natural pink-beige lip color and was pleased with the overall effect.

She grabbed a small side bag and put the blaster pistol that Han gave her inside. This was simply a precaution, just in case the worst-case scenario happened, and Ben tried to attack her. This was also why she grabbed her staff and held it poised behind her to one side.

She sat down in the middle of the small room of the ship and meditated. Her breath focused and steady, she searched for his force signature to emerge from somewhere in the planet's atmosphere.

Rey had nervous jitters in her stomach from nerves. She had no idea what she was doing in reality, just that she had to try something to get him to see that they can have a potential future together. _Am I crazy for thinking I can have that with him?_


	8. Planning

**AN:** Hey guys, just a heads up that this chapter has profanity and i'll probably pepper it into the story occasionally as needed. Hope nobody is offended. Also, I love reading fics from Ben's perspective but he is so difficult to write as a character! Please let me know what y'all think about my version of him and give me some feedback on that. Read on and I hope you like it!=)

Chapter 8: Planning

Abruptly she felt his presence; it was dark and heavy, blanketing like a thick fog, but also had a certain bitter, richness to it almost like coffee or dark chocolate. She ran out of the ship her heart racing… _in excitement? fear?_ She couldn't distinguish which.

She stopped just outside the ship's entrance, trying to focus her breath again and attempt to calm herself. She could feel that he was nearing closer to the planet's surface now, and Rey both felt and saw his ship descend, landing a reasonable distance from her own.

The ship he was piloting was a Grey, civilian ship, built to house two to four people. It looked to be in good condition despite its old age. Once it had landed the ramp descended, and he emerged from the entrance and began to briskly stride towards her.

Rey froze at the sight of him. He was wearing black pants and boots with a dark grey, long-sleeved tunic. He was missing his gloves as well she noticed, which was a huge signal to her that this was indeed Ben and not the savage side of him he named _Kylo Ren_.

Ben stopped about ten feet away from her; apprehension clung to the air around the pair, as they stood motionless for ages staring at each other. They couldn't believe they were actually face-to-face again, the last time being when they were in Snoke's throne room. In the short timespan of a few days, emotions had changed a lot of things between them.

As Ben stood there, he could only manage to stare at the striking woman in front of him. She seemed to glow in the morning sunshine, and was somehow lovelier than he remembered. He was completely lost on how to begin a conversation with her, his nerves getting the better of him. He begun to notice that, he felt a small sense of relief as he stood near her and observed her gaze.

She stood, her expression coming off as guarded, which was understood given their history. Yet, she held a hint of compassion for him in her eyes. She noticed that she was beginning to feel relieved after being in his presence for a moment, the air stilling as quick as it had tensed up.

Rey collected her composure first. When she spoke her voice was gentle, "It's good to see you Ben. I'm glad you made it safely." She was unsure on how to break the tension, but wanted to let him know that she was here with empathetic intentions. They both had anxiety written on their faces, but they couldn't let that keep them from what they were attempting to accomplish in a short amount of time.

He was planning on spending a lot of time with her, revealing his plan to bring about an eventual end to the order. Rey was planning on trying to; find and bring out the light within him, help him to disperse his hatred and anger, and hope that he would consider leaving the order to come be by her side.

 **"Thank you. I'm glad that you're here safe as well."** He was just as apprehensive as she was, so this process was going nowhere painfully slow. He nervously attempted to break the tension by asking as casually as possible, **"New clothes? They look nice on you."**

 _A complement? Wow, and he's wearing new clothes too? He really is trying to make a good impression isn't he?_ "Yes they are, thanks." Rey couldn't stop her smile or the blush that together worked to burn her cheeks. "Yours look very nice too."

Her blush deepened, as she briefly ogled him up and down before averting her stare. Ben reddened at her making an observation about his looks and cleared his throat nervously.

 **"Before we get into more serious matters for discussion, I have something for you."** Ben was shifting his weight from side to side and scratched the back of his head briefly. His other hand was inside his pants pocket. He removed it while pulling out the red, velvet bag and held it out for her to take.

Rey closed the gap between them in a few strides and took her gift from his open palm. She opened it and immediately gasped, eyes wide in astonishment at the simple yet beautiful piece of jewelry.

Putting it on and beaming up at him she was overwhelmed with joy at his small gesture of thoughtfulness. She never had anyone give her a gift before and especially not something just for her enjoyment, it was always out of complete necessity.

"Thank you so much! It's absolutely beautiful Ben." Her words were soft as she reached out to hug him tightly, as though he might not let her continue to do so, once she started. However, he relaxed into her touch and she felt his energy shift, like a rolling wave crashing serenely on the beach.

"Did you make this yourself?" She asked him, sensing that hard work had been put into making it, as well as the sentimental value the crystal seemed to have.

 **"Yes, how did you guess?"** Ben eyed her with question, like she had read his thoughts without him knowing.

"I could feel it's emotional value to you. Oh it's just perfect, I wish I had something for you though…" Rey looked dissatisfied at her lack of foresight.

 **"Please Rey… don't worry about it, your company is a gift in itself."** Rey almost thought that he was just trying to flatter her but his earnest look stated otherwise. **"Besides, this gift is symbolic of the promise I made to you. How I promised to find a way for us to be together."**

It was obvious that Ben was extremely anxious about being this vulnerable; his skin was sweaty and ashen, body shaky and his voice and expression were equally unsteady. Rey knew this was because Ben always felt abandoned by all those who cared for him; weather by his parents, Luke, Snoke or even by her. _Twice now_ , she thought with bitter regret.

"So, have you gotten any closer to finding a way?" There was no hiding the eagerness in her voice. She knew in her heart that her only meaningful future was one that included being with Ben.

 **"Yes I have a plan, but… you may not like it."** He eyed her nervously but she remained calm and open-minded. Rey expected nothing less and knew that she could always make suggestions.

"So this must be the 'serious matters for discussion' that you referred to earlier? Let's sit down in the shady grass and get comfortable, I have a feeling this could take a minute… right?" She was already walking towards the shade, stopping briefly to look over her shoulder to grin at him.

Rey couldn't help feeling elated at having Ben in the flesh with her, uninterrupted for however long she liked, or until he had to leave. She wasn't nervous about touching on sensitive topics with him either, by now she trusted him to remain calm while with her. She sat down underneath a rather large and aged looking tree that had giant leaves the size of her face.

Ben was smitten with Rey by now and he knew it. How else would he be able to consider abandoning the First Order as the acting Supreme Leader? He had never cared for anyone this much before. Hell, he even made her jewelry, which is usually reserved for a significant other. Rey was everything he never knew he needed; understanding, fierce but also gentle, serious and yet also carefree, loyal, a survivor's spirit and a true force to be reckoned with.

He walked over to sit down beside her, **"Yeah… It'll definitely take a minute…"**

He told her everything; how killing Hux would dismantle the head leadership over the military, and how he had to dispose of as many of the Knights of Ren as possible, before they murder him for doing the same to their master. She sat in patient silence waiting for him to finish.

 **"I've been running different scenarios in my head about how this can play out, and I fear that I don't have much of a choice. I _have_ to kill Hux. It's the only way that I can be certain that when I leave, I'll know that I have caused sufficient upheaval throughout the First Order and no one will come after _you_ , Rey. As long as Hux breathes, he won't stop until he kills you for murdering Snoke. It's my entire fault that he's even after you, so I have to deal with the consequences of my actions. Besides, Hux will seek vengeance out on me as well, once I become a traitor to the order."**

She was in disbelief at all she had just heard, her brain trying to comprehend it all. He was going to really leave the order! He was going to kill Hux, attempt to sabotage the First Order, and make sure that she was safe. It was all she ever wanted from him.

Ben's expression was serious, but his lovely eyes always gave away his true emotion, devout loyalty to only Rey.

"I agree with you that you have to murder Hux. He's a malicious, vile human being and is dangerous in a position of power and the same goes for the knights." She was tense just thinking about them. Her expression suddenly softened, changed to a look of concern.

"Ben… I'm worried that you'll get hurt or something will go wrong when you try to leave. I hate the thought of loosing you. Please let me help you do this."

He slowly reached out and took her hand in his while saying, **"I knew that you would say something like that, so I brought you this comm-relay. We can contact each other if anything should happen. I thought it would help put our worries more at ease."** He pulled said device out of his other pants pocket and she took it.

"What are you going to do once you're away?" She looked into his eyes, she was anxious about his answer.

He broke eye contact with her getting tense, **"Well, I was hoping that you could help me with that part."**

 _What in the fuck can I even do with my life now? I'm known as **Kylo Ren** infamous murderer in the galaxy. What could I possibly do once abandoning both my family and the first order? There is no way that Rey is going to want to stay with me, over being with her friends at the resistance. _

"Oh! Well, I guess we'll have to lay low for a while, until the order has time to fully collapse. I'm still going to help the resistance finish them off, before you ask, but I'm not going to make you help if you don't want to." She took his other hand in hers so that both their hands were entwined. Gazing into his glossy orb-like eyes, she could see his anxiety over the impending situation but also his immense compassion for her.

"I'll finish what you set into motion by leaving, and together we'll wipe the first order out of existence. From there, the galaxy is free to choose it's own path without outer interference." Rey was slowly leaning in closer to him, her eyes revealing a mix of purpose and longing.

"After the war, I would like to travel and see the greatest places in the galaxy. We could do that together if you wanted to come with me." Her heart was soaring. She was trying to be as vulnerable with Ben as he was being with her. Ben was finally going to leave the order; almost embracing the light, against his will, just so he could be close to her.

 **"I'll go wherever you go _sweetheart_." **With that he closed the mere inches between their faces, kissing her lips tenderly.

It was as if the galaxy melted away in that moment except for the two of them. The air around them pulsed with heat and electricity. Their lips conveyed their desperate loneliness to each other, and their longing to be the solution. The force seemed to radiate energy around them, and yet it was peaceful instead of powerful.


	9. Fun with the Force

**AN:** Hey everyone, this chapter started to get pretty long so I made a stopping point and decided to go ahead and post it. I'm already making good progress with the next chapter so hopefully it wont be too long before I can post it too. Hope you all like and enjoy!

Chapter 9: Fun with the Force

Rey immediately reached her hands up to tangle into Ben's locks. His now empty hands suddenly found their way onto Rey's hips. This was different than the times that they had kissed through the force; it was much more real, she could taste his breath, feel the moisture of his lips against hers and feel the warmth radiate off of his body, as he sat mere inches away from her own.

Rey slid her tongue into his mouth attempting to seek his out. She succeeded, drawing out a quiet, pleasurable groan from his throat. He slowly and gently massaged her hips with his large hands, as she did the same to his scalp.

They embraced for what seemed like a blissful eternity, before parting only for breath. They held hands and gazed wistfully into each other's eyes. After a minute, Rey broke the tranquil silence.

"I just realized that I haven't done my routine for today yet. I usually begin with meditation, practice sparring skills next, and then move on to studying the ancient texts. Do you want to join me?"

She wasn't sure if he'd even want to, but it couldn't hurt to ask. Besides, if he was there to spend time with her than it shouldn't matter what they did. She knew that this was Jedi subject material though and would therefore make him likely to hesitate.

Ben took a moment to contemplate her proposal through his thoughts, while maintaining an expressionless look. **"I've never been any good at relaxing enough for meditation to truly benefit me. However, I have always excelled at sparring."** He paused and eyed her with a look bordering between proud and dangerous before continuing. **"I'll do the first two exercises with you but I'll find something else to do while you read that boring old book."**

She made an annoyed face at him for making fun of the texts, but quickly moved past it. Ben had his reasons to be bitter towards the Jedi ways, and from what Luke had told her, the Jedi weren't free of error in their beliefs. She had decided to do the research about them for herself, instead of taking other people's word for why they believed that they should end. Besides, there were clearly worthy things that the Jedi teachings had to offer her.

"Ok, let's start right here, it's such a relaxing spot so maybe it will help you. When's the last time you've tried to meditate?" She turned her body to face his and sat cross-legged in front of him. He slowly repeated her leg motions and got into lotus position.

 **"Well I have a nighttime routine; where I practice sparring for a couple of hours, shower, and then meditate before going to bed. I try to meditate everyday. it's just that, it usually ends up reminding me about… things I wish I could forget."** His face attempted to hide his emotions as they bubbled to the surface, but Rey could see the hurt filling his eyes.

"Maybe it's your subconscious trying to tell you that you have to accept the things that you've done, and learn how to live with the remorse you have, because of those actions." Rey spoke the words softly as she wanted to avoid striking a nerve, him losing his temper and possibly leaving.

He closed his eyes in deep thought taking in her words. He realized that she only spoke the truth.

Changing the topic, "I have an idea that could make this more interesting and perhaps more enjoyable for you. Let's try to find each other's minds through the force, while we are in meditation. Whoever finds the other first is the winner and gets to pick something to do after we finish my routine."

The confidence he had in his force abilities was apparent, a cocky grin appearing on his lips. **"That does sound more interesting. I hope that you are prepared to lose, Rey."** He teased at her while holding himself in a competitive manner. Little to Rey's knowledge, Ben had always been extremely competitive, even as a child, and this had made the kids his age reluctant to include him in their fun.

Rey matched his look with fierce confidence in her own mounting abilities. Hands on her hips, she was quick to use his own words against him, "We'll see."

They closed their eyes, both focused on slowing down and controlling their breathing. They sat in the warmth of the sunshine, the cool breeze blew around occasionally and tiny signs of wildlife could be heard. The peace that they shared in this state was the closest thing to balance that Ben had ever felt. They sat there for almost an hour, basking in the sensation and almost forgot about their game.

Ben could feel Rey's presence in the force; it was like a beacon of bright light, compared to the darkness that surrounded him constantly, for as long as he could remember. She was focusing hard on trying to find him, but no doubt that it was harder for her to penetrate his darkness, than it was for him to seek out her light.

He had found her at last, and began to push past through the protective barriers in her mind. He discovered that she wasn't trying to keep him out though. He spoke through his thoughts into her mind. **_Looks like I won._**

 _I suppose you did. I guess that means you get to pick what we do after I'm done reading. Do you have anything in mind?_

 ** _I'll need some time to consider what there is to do on this planet first._**

They disconnected from each other's minds, the effort it was taking them was starting to make Rey feel a bit tired. She decided that she didn't want to spar with Ben, as intensely as would be most productive for her. So they laid down some basic ground rules for the sparring match, while performing some warm-up stretches. All the while, they took turns stealing glances at each other's muscular bodies, which were practically on display in the sunlight.

The sparring was very basic; mostly working on the fundamental stances and movements, that Rey didn't have time to learn. She moved with poise and vigor, almost as if she had subconsciously learned the information somehow. The pair decided to call it quits, once they were both thoroughly dripping in sweat and Rey had made considerable progress in such a short time.

Ben had decided that he would disguise himself and go into the nearby town, to pick up some groceries and lunch, seeing as they had just mutually worked up quite the appetite. Rey had returned to her ship and settled into the only, small relief bed that was in the main part of the ship. She picked up her book where she left off reading; it was going into lengthy specific details, about how to build and maintain a stable lightsaber…

Ben had returned some time ago unknown to Rey, who was caught up in her book. She heard a knock on the ship's door and suddenly sensing Ben's energy, leapt up and opened it for him. He had brought a plate of food with him and looked quite pleased with himself.

 **"I made us some lunch. I have no clue what you like, but I doubt that you've had the chance to try this yet. I hope you like it, it's a Chandrilan dish that I grew up eating."** Ben's cheeks flushed pink for a moment, he was uneasy about admitting; that he could cook, where he grew up, and about what her reaction to the food would be, despite his knowledge of the subject.

He offered the platter of food to her; she immediately grabbed it and began investigating the ingredients used and the preparation methods involved. Fine Cuisine was new to her and she was fascinated, borderline obsessed with it. The platter contained a bunch of small pieces of food; each looked like fish and vegetables had been wrapped up together in the center, with seaweed as the wrapping, and then rolled around in white rice afterward.

"This looks amazing! Thank you for making this for us Ben." Rey couldn't help but Beam up at him, _he is truly considerate once you are on his good side_. Ben flushed in response and muttered quietly, **"You're welcome."**

Together they sat down on Rey's bed and devoured their food rapidly, she thought it was insanely delicious. Ben had long since finished his food by the time she was done. He had wanted to wait for her to finish, before trying to talk to her.

 **"While I was in town, I looked into the local tourist attractions, that were available this time of year. They mostly offered outdoor activities like cave diving, rock climbing, nature trails and the like. I did however, come across a lake that's not too far away and it's rather secluded, so the chance of anyone recognizing me is extremely miniscule. I was thinking that I could teach you to swim there, if you'd like."**

Rey's eyes were wide in surprise, "How did you know that I can't swim?"

 **"Well to be honest, I didn't _know_. I just assumed that given where you grew up, that you weren't provided with an opportunity to learn how. I want to help you get that opportunity, and any others that you might have missed out on." **There was that fierce devotion again, his eyes seemed to glow with burning affection for her. He sympathized with her difficult childhood and wanted to help make up for it, even though it wasn't anything of his doing.

"Oh Ben, I would love it if you would teach me. If I'm going to be traveling and exploring different planets in the future, then I'm going to have to know how." Rey's expression was one of excitement, at the prospect of learning something else new. She was having one of the best days of her life, just being able to be with Ben and learning all of the little details about him.

 **"Great."** He couldn't stop her infectious smile from spreading onto his face. **"Be sure to bring some form fitting, lightweight material to wear, so that you don't struggle from being weighed down by wet clothes. Since we just ate we might want to wait to digest, before we head down to the lake."**

"Yeah I've heard that can make your stomach cramp up, not fun. Oh! I can tell you about what I was reading! You probably know most of this already, but maybe there is something interesting in here for you still." Rey began to give him a summary, of the section in her book on lightsaber building. He sat there stoically and silent, while she ran through it in its entirety.

When she had finished, he looked up into her face with a look of guilt. **"I'm sorry that I broke your saber."** He looked down, ashamed that he had left her with one less weapon for her to defend herself with, besides her staff and blaster.

"You aren't solely responsible. I played my part in breaking it too. Look at it this way, now we can work together to try to fix it, or make it into something new and better, _improve_ it." She was eager for his help on this, she had never built anything like this before. Ben however, most likely made his first lightsaber himself.

 **"I would like that."** They continued talking for a while about lightsaber components, apparatuses and functionality. They were talking excitedly back and forth due to their shared knowledge about machineries and their functions.

Ben had gone back to his ship briefly, to change into more appropriate attire for their swimming lesson. Rey had swapped her undergarments for a black and white, striped, two-piece swimming wear set, and was trying to decide on a wrapping to wear for the walk down to the lake.

Today she was enjoying Ben's company even more than she thought she could, despite the war still going on. Rey was finding herself feeling a bit impatient, regarding the pace of physical intimacy between them. She was comfortable in her emotions; she knew how she felt, and how deeply he cared for her.

Rey had for a while now, longed to make him hers as intimately as possible. Somehow she knew that this would help to tame the anger in his savage heart, mollifying it with tender care and affection. _Even if this plan fails at bringing out the light in him, I could never regret doing it because I know… **I love him**._


	10. Ready?

**AN:** Hey everyone! This chapter is full of fluffy feelings and building sexual tension, so I just hope that it came out well. The subtle smut is on the rise and will come to fruition within the next chapter or so. Please give me some criticism or let me know what you want to see play out! Hope you all like, comment/review and enjoy!

Chapter 10: Ready?

She grabbed a long, black, sheer robe that was to be worn over swimwear and threw it on. She thought it looked funny with her ankle boots but didn't bring any other shoes with her. Grabbing her satchel and staff by habit, she made out the ship's door towards the clearing between their two ships.

Ben was there waiting on her, wearing grey swim trunks with a red athletic shirt that had no sleeves. He was also wearing his boots; Rey threw her hand up to her mouth, to hide her giggling at the sight of them paired with shorts.

She approached him, "Ready to go?"

Ben had been looking at her with an odd expression over his face, Rey couldn't recall if he'd ever looked at her like this before, or not. He cleared his throat briefly, and Rey noticed his excited energy had shifted to being calmer. **"Yeah, let's go. If we get there soon then we'll have all afternoon to swim."**

They began walking together on a small path that twisted through the densely populated trees of the woods. **"Swimming is an excellent way to workout your whole body; bones, muscles and joints. Not to mention the benefits it has on the circulatory system, including the heart, and on the production of chemicals in the mind."**

"You certainly know a lot about it. Do you enjoy swimming?" Rey was eager to discover all of the details about Ben. She felt like she _needed_ to know what made him tick.

 **"Yes I have always enjoyed it and still do. However when I became Snoke's apprentice, that was just one of many things, that ceased to exist to me. He wanted me to be focused narrowly and only on the task at hand."**

Rey reached for his hand and clasped it in her own. He looked down to see her expression, with the pain and anger at Snoke, written across his handsome features. Rey gazed into his eyes with understanding and sympathy.

"Well, now you're free to do whatever you like. You could choose to swim everyday for the rest of your life, if you wish to do so." He needed to be around that optimistic perspective of hers, something that had been missing from his life, until the day he met Rey.

He chuckled and his eyes lit up with her words. **"You know what? Maybe I'll do just that."**

They had reached the lake now and Rey's feelings kept interchanging between excitement and fear. Ben sensed her shifting emotions, knowing that she needed to focus before attempting to swim. **"Rey… I can feel your emotions. You just need to get used to the water, before trying to influence it with your movements. It's not too different from learning about the force for the first time."**

He suddenly kicked off his boots and pulled his shirt off over his head, tossing it to the ground. Rey's hungry gaze was instantly glued to his abdominal muscles. Without noticing her desirous look, he headed towards the water and stopped once it was up to his hips.

It dawned on her that he was waiting for her to join him in the water. She took off her cover and boots, tossing them into a pile with her satchel and staff. Rey felt slightly exposed due to the minimal amount of clothing, but rather than act embarrassed, she thought to cover it up by acting more confident than usual.

She strode quickly into the water, rejecting her instant panic at the unfamiliar sensation. She stopped once in front of Ben, the water reaching up to her mid-torso. He took her hands in both of his, **"Just meditate like this for long enough to control your emotions, find your center."**

They stood there for a few minuets, just long enough to calm the fearful storm inside Rey's mind. Ben then demonstrated several different techniques that she could try out, until she found the one that worked best for her. Ben's energy was helping to keep Rey calm, while she practiced swimming further and with less support from him.

After a couple of hours they decided to take a break, seeing as how their skin was wrinkled with excess water and how out of breath they both were. They sat beside each other on the soft soil, letting the sunshine warm and dry them off, while they relaxed in the tranquil ambiance.

Rey's mind wouldn't stop racing though. Thoughts of how much she needed Ben kept echoing through her mind, as she eyed him out of her peripheral vision. She adored the little things about him; his compassion for her, his knowledge on multitudes of subjects, his raw strength and his newfound dedication to only her.

He had given up his entire _life_ to become a part of hers. Rey longed to return the display of commitment to him, and to give him a new life with her. She needed some answers before she could fully commit to her plan, but her nerves were preventing her from asking. _I guess there's no way to beat around the bush on this one. I'm just going to have to ask him directly I guess. Oh well, here we go._

"Ben, can I ask you something?" Ben opened his eyes to look at her without moving from his position. His hands were behind his head and he was sitting cross-legged, looking more relaxed than Rey had ever seen him.

 **"Of course."**

"Have you ever felt the same way about someone else, as you do towards me?" Rey was shifting her weight back and forth nervously, so quickly that she looked like she was swaying in the wind. Ben's eyes got wide in surprise and he slowly lowered his arms from his head. The brief silence between them seemed deafening.

 **"No. …I have only cared for a select few people in my entire lifetime. Rey… I care more about you than I care about myself. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but it's true."** Ben was staring into her eyes with such intensity, that Rey thought she might melt into his gaze.

"Oh, Ben…" She softly cooed his name with affection, which in turn, stoked a desire in him he had almost forgotten existed. It was time for Ben's mind to race now, about how he longed to give Rey every part of him that he could give her. He was hers; his mind, body and soul were hers for the taking. He didn't feel weak at having these feelings either, rather he finally felt _complete_.

He knew exactly how much he cherished her and desperately needed to make sure that she understood how much. He leaned towards her, placing his forehead to hers and closed his eyes. **_"I love you Rey."_ **

Rey's head and heart exploded with happiness in that moment. She let her instincts take over herself, hoping that she could finally make him completely hers. _"I love you too Ben."_

She grabbed the hair on the back of his head, pulling him into a heated kiss. He obliged her, wrapping his thick arms around her torso, holding her tenderly. Rey pushed him down gently, while settling herself on top of him, not breaking the kiss.

Ben was pleasantly surprised by her candor, relaxing into the feel of her supple body on top of his.

This time it was he who used his tongue to find hers, and as soon as he did, he swirled his around hers. A small but erotic moan managed to escape through her lips.

Rey felt a hot, tingling sensation throughout her body and recognized immediately what it was. She was a woman after all, and though she had never been with a man intimately, she wasn't afraid. In fact, she _craved_ to experience, the power and confidence that came from making a man submit to the pleasures that a woman's body could provide. She wanted to claim Ben as hers in a primitive sort of way, and wasn't going to bother herself with the possible consequences of her actions.

Ben on the other hand, feared that this kind of immediate intimacy could be precarious. He was just as inexperienced as Rey but had grown up far less sheltered than her. He knew about all of the potential risks involved, not only to the body but also to the heart. He wanted desperately for Rey to be by his side forever. He would do anything for her and even lay down his own life for her. He wasn't going to jeopardize their possible future together by going too far with her too soon.

Rey nibbled on his bottom lip gently, and then very slightly grinded her body against his, creating an intense, burning desire between them. This stimulus was getting to be too much for Ben, who was trying not to rush their promising relationship.

 **"Rey, as much as I enjoy what you're doing, I think it would be better for us if we stopped where this is headed. I just don't want you to do anything you might remotely regret later."** His brows were furrowed in concern matching his slight frown, but his eyes were laced with yearning and affection.

"Yeah, I can understand that." Attempting to hide her feelings of rejection, she put on a fake smile as they separated and put on the clothes they had taken off to swim. They walked together hand-in-hand back to their ships' location, meanwhile having more pleasant conversation about lightsaber crafting.

Once they had reached the clearing, they decided what they wanted to do with the rest of the evening. Ben's ship was larger and as a result, his included a full bathroom, two bedrooms and a full kitchen. Ben would begin cooking dinner, while Rey used his refresher to shower off the lake water. He would take his after her, saying how he could keep his food warm on the stove, while she went ahead and ate hers.

He entered the Grey ship first and immediately began opening cabinets; pulling out cooking pots, pans and ingredients, that he had bought in town earlier that day. Rey was tempted to watch him throughout the process, so that she could learn how to cook something besides rations. However, she recognized how tired her body and mind was from learning so much in one day, and figured she would just ask him tomorrow.

She headed past the kitchen and common area, towards the back of the ship. She walked past the bedroom doors and found the refresher. She entered with curiosity wondering what kind of stuff Ben owned in there. She snooped around looking at the different bottles containing products like body wash and shampoo, things that were still novel to her but that normal people, who didn't grow up in a desert, owned.

She checked that she had locked the door, started running the water to get it to warm up and flung off her clothes. She took a while before getting in the shower to observe her body. She was still tan and lean, but with substantially more weight on her bones both in muscle and fat, from a better diet.

She looked into her own eyes in the mirror, attempting to give herself a pep talk. _All right Rey, he's obviously just worried about you and how this could affect our partnership. All you have to do to get what you want is to reassure him, that everything will be fine and that I do want to do this._ She then entered the shower, the whole time she was bathing, she focused on feeling confident and on the different ways she could try to seduce Ben.


	11. Need

**AN:** Hey guys! Here comes the good stuff and there will be plenty of it from here on out;D Also, sorry in advance for the cliffhanger but good smutt takes time to build up and write aboout. If I wrote all of it out at once, this chapt. would be as long as two. please continue to give me some criticism or let me know what you want to see. Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 11: Need

Ben was diligently cooking a delicious meal for him and Rey. He felt guilty for turning down her advances earlier and really wanted to make their evening enjoyable and special. He was baking chicken breasts, making a side of glazed carrots and a side of mashed potatoes. It was a simple meal to put together but the spices and herbs he was using, would greatly increase the flavor profile of each component.

His thoughts drifted to his childhood. He remembered having this exact meal countless times while growing up. Most of the time, one of the nannies would make it for him while his parents were either out of town or busy. Occasionally though, his mother would come home early from work just so that, she could provide a home cooked meal for him. He remembered thinking as a young boy that it always tasted better when she made it.

He had been thinking more about her since, he had been forced to kill his father under orders from Snoke. Ben was devastated when he believed that she had passed away, when the command deck on her ship was destroyed. When Rey told him that she had survived he was relieved, he still had a chance to face her and tell her how repentant he is for all that he's done.

He heard Rey's footsteps coming down the hallway and quickly wiped the tears that were welling up in his eyes. She entered the kitchen wearing only a towel, Ben's energy changing immediately as his eyes widened. He suddenly felt that urge again, to be with her in every possible way. He tried to shake the thoughts from his mind, but was unsuccessful.

"Hey Ben, I forgot to grab some fresh clothes from my ship. Do you have anything that I can wear for the time being?" The sun had set by now and no doubt it was too chilly, for her to make the journey to her ship for fresh clothes.

 **"Oh, yeah I'm sure I can find you something. Could you keep an eye on this for me please? If it starts getting any darker, than just take it out of the oven for me."** He was talking about the chicken breasts, which was the only part of the meal still cooking.

Ben entered the larger of the two bedrooms and started going through the dresser drawers trying to find something suitable for Rey. He came across one of his old t-shirts; it was two sizes too small for him, the color was a faded black due to its age, but that also made it extremely soft. He then dug around until he found, another old and too small, pair of athletic shorts in a warm grey color.

He brought the clothing back to her waiting in the kitchen. She had done what he had asked, having taken the chicken out for him when it was done, Ben thought it looked perfect. **"Thank you for taking care of that."**

"No problem. Everything is done cooking now, if you'd like to go ahead and take your shower."

 **"Alright. Oh by the way, those clothes are way too small for me, so you can keep them if you want."** He made his way to the refresher for his turn to shower.

Rey wanted to wait on Ben to finish bathing before beginning to eat, as she was beyond tired of always eating by herself. She kept picturing Ben in only his swim trunks; swimming in the lake, his muscles tensing up and relaxing as he moved through the water with grace, the water making him shimmer with a divine effect. _I wonder what he would think, if he knew how attractive I think he is._

Suddenly, she got a devious idea in her mind and wanted to give it a try. She focused her breath and began to meditate. His mental barriers were down at the moment and she penetrated them with ease, although he was alerted to her presence when she did so. He spoke into her mind through his own. **_What are you up to Rey?_**

 _Oh, just practicing and getting you back from earlier today._ Before he could respond, she showered his mind with images from her own. They were the images of him swimming from earlier that day. He was missing his shirt in all of them, and each one focused heavily on his body and facial expressions. He could feel her feelings of love and lust that were attached to her memories. As soon as they had started, the memories disappeared, leaving Ben feeling wanted and coveted for the first time in his life.

 ** _Why did she want me to see and feel that? Is she really trying to provoke me into agreeing, to take things to that next level so soon? I don't really know when it would be the right time for us to take that next step. Maybe I should just let her have what she wants… But what if we act without thinking and it results in something undesirable? I can't stand this uncertainty._**

He finished his shower, his emotions like a whirlwind inside his mind. Ben went to his room and dressed into a t-shirt and athletic shorts, both in black. He entered the kitchen to see Rey piling food onto two separate plates. At the sight of him she smiled cheerfully, "I wanted to wait on you to finish so that we could eat together."

 **"You know that you didn't have to, but I do appreciate it."** He returned her warm smile and couldn't help thinking how much he enjoyed seeing her in his old clothes.

Rey brought their plates over to the small table and sat down, Ben did so after her. They were both so hungry that they devoured their food without so much as a word to each other. Instead, they stole glances at each other eating and taking turns being embarrassed about it.

As soon as Ben was done, he began cleaning up the mess from cooking. When she had finished, Rey pitched in by drying and putting things away as he cleaned them. They chatted about what they wanted to do tomorrow; swimming practice, learning cooking basics, possibly going into town, and helping Rey begin to rebuild her lightsaber.

They had finished tidying up the kitchen now and both of them felt more at ease, due to the cleanliness. Rey had plopped down on the couch in the common area and was waiting for Ben to join her. "How long do you think you'll be able to stay here with me?"

Ben tensed slightly at the thought of returning to the order, after being alone with Rey. It was getting harder by the hour to think about separating. **"Well it really doesn't matter how long I stay because, I'm planning on only being back there for a day or two before I go through with my plan."**

"Ok. There's something that I really want us to do before we separate." Rey was looking extremely nervous, she wasn't sure how she could say what was on her mind delicately. Ben was already hesitant about the subject and she didn't want to pressure him…too much.

"Ben… You've given up everything in your life for me. All I want is to express how devoted I am to you, and to be as close to you as I can be. I love you so deeply, that there could never be anything for me to regret. Please Ben… I _need_ to have as much of you as you'll let me take." She had unknowingly taken his hands in hers and was rubbing them with her thumbs affectionately.

Ben's expression read pure apprehension except for his passionate, yearning eyes. **"Rey, I can tell that you've been contemplating this, and I know how stubborn you can be."** He paused, smiling briefly. **"I feel the same way sweetheart… it's just that I can't help but worry about the negative things that can happen as a result."**

"To hell with the consequences. Ben stop thinking so much and just follow your heart, what does it tell you?"

He closed his eyes, slowing down his breath, calming his storming emotions. Opening them, he gazed into hers with penetrating affection. **"That you are everything to me and that I'd rather die than to live without you."**

"Then prove it to me…" Rey made her move; she initiated a passionate kiss, tongues colliding, her fingers finding their way into his raven, silky hair, making their hearts feel like melting together. He gently sucked on her bottom lip. "Oh Ben…" she moaned in between breaths.

He had placed his shaking hands on her hips but couldn't find the courage to push forward. She took a second to feel him in the force, and felt his hesitance. _Looks like I'm going to have to initiate things._

All she knew about physical intimacy was what she had experienced in her dreams. She believed that perhaps the force was filling her in on something important, that she didn't get to learn about, due to her tough childhood. She confidently grabbed her shirt and flung it off, revealing her exposed chest to him.

Surprised, Ben's grasp tightened on her hips but relaxed after a moment. He wasn't going to reject her again, not after what she had just said and just done. He slowly ran his sizable hands up her torso until they settled onto her breasts.

Rey moaned loudly in delight at the sensation, blushing intensely at the sound, but encouraging him to continue. He carefully squeezed the handfuls of flesh, almost massaging them, making Rey moan some more. She felt concentrated heat rise up from her core and spread throughout her entire body.

 **"Oh maker…Rey you're so beautiful."** Ben was done feeling hesitant now, his desire fully stoked by the sight and sensation of Rey's body flushed against his. He could feel his deep desire for her growing at an alarming rate. It had been many years since the last time he had relieved his own physical needs.

Rey could feel his need and it made her need more of him, so she grabbed for his shirt and he obliged in taking it off. She immediately ran her hands up and down his abs, pleased with feeling soft skin lying over his hardened muscles. She stared deep into his eyes, a wild hunger displayed through dilated pupils. An identical look was mirrored in Ben's eyes.

Rey was impatient; she had gone her whole life without knowing this kind of pleasure, but now that she'd had a taste of it, she was addicted. "Ben, take me to your room." An eager grin spread across her face.


	12. Complete

**AN:** Hey guys, hope you all like this one. I'll keep more coming when I can.

Chapter: 12: Complete

He immediately picked her up bridal style, carrying her into the master bedroom. She hugged his neck giggling in excitement. Ben was grinning, he had never imagined that their little get-together on Takodana could have resulted in them making love. Although nervous, he was going to make sure to give her the experience she sought.

He placed her onto the bed and carefully settled himself on top of her, supporting his own weight. His lips crashed onto hers with an intense hunger while her hands explored his broad and bare, back muscles. They kissed messily with heated passion, enjoying the warmth of their bodies being so close together, an unaccustomed sensation for them both.

Rey could feel his hard member pressing against her thigh, making her core become hotter and wetter with need for him. Slowly he kissed down her throat and along her collarbone, while beginning to remove her shorts inch by inch.

She placed her hand on his chest stopping his progress, her shorts still barely covering her feminine core. "Can I see you first?" She had a look in her eyes like she was going to devour him.

Ben nodded, his cheeks turning pink before he stood up, dropping down his shorts and underwear in one fluid motion. She gasped at finally seeing what a man looked like 'down there' and couldn't stop herself from staring at him. He was much longer and thicker than she had imagined, but it only made her want to feel him that much more.

He was uneasy and felt more vulnerable than ever before, but it felt good, because it was with Rey. He knelt down on the floor in front of her and continued to remove the last bit of her clothing.

She heard him gasp in pleasure as soon as she was fully exposed. She lifted her head off of the bed to look into his face. Ben's face hovered above her womanhood, his expression filled with pure desire. She felt his breath he was so close, making her shiver in delight at feeling the moist, hot air.

He groaned, **"Rey you're so perfect. Let me worship you and give you the pleasure you deserve."**

"Oh please Ben do _anything_ you want to me." She didn't care how desperate she sounded. She just needed more of him and wasn't worried about what he would do.

 **"Mmmm. As you wish sweetheart."** He lowered his head and kissed her on the stomach, placing teasing kisses down towards her center. Rey moaned out loud at every sensation.

He kissed the bundle of nerves above her opening, and then started to lick it softly, occasionally placing kisses. She continued moaning but now was saying his name. He continued, seeing as she was enjoying herself like he had hoped.

Hearing her moan his name, was stoking a deep feeling of belonging within Ben. He could feel the heat radiating from her and craved to touch more. His erection was throbbing with a need of it's own, but it would have to wait until Rey was ready.

He placed a finger at her opening, and started gently rubbing the area around it. She grew louder with her pleasurable moans, so he continued further. He inserted a finger; she almost yelled out in pleasure and bucked against his hand in delight. He found her reaction exceptionally erotic and demanding.

"More…please Ben." She almost whispered at him.

A deep growl released from his throat, **_does she even know how incredible she is?_** He inserted a second finger easily as she was almost soaking wet. He basked in the feeling of her warm, moist walls contracting around his fingers.

Rey then reached into his mind briefly, to feel his emotions and hear his current thoughts. She knew that he must have grown up with more information available about intercourse, and wanted to check that she wasn't missing something crucial. She quickly found out that the reason he was hesitant, was due to the possibility of hurting her upon entering.

"Ah, so that's why you're worried huh?" He stopped pleasuring her clit to meet her gaze. She cupped his face with her hand. "Don't be, I know myself and I'll admit that I've pleasured myself before. I'll be fine I promise."

She smiled reassuringly at him, flushing profusely at admitting this fact. Ben returned her smile before continuing to pleasure her with renewed hunger. He slowly began to pump his fingers inside of her, picking up speed with every moan that escaped her lips.

Rey felt her body climbing that pleasurable peak quicker than she desired. She wanted to make this last as long as possible, but it felt too damn good being pleasured by another person.

She had one of her hands tangled in his hair, so gently, she pulled his head away from her center. "I'm getting too close. I need to feel you now."

He grinned up at her, **"Gods Rey do you even know how sexy you are?"** He stood up and then settled himself in between her hips. His body was burning against hers, and she felt his throbbing member glide across her opening in a tantalizing way.

Rey crept her other hand in between their bodies and grabbed his manhood. His eyes widened in surprise briefly, before hazing over in lust again to match hers. She placed him at her entrance and he slowly pushed himself inside.

Her body welcomed his pleasant hardness with ease, as she was extremely aroused. She expected at some point, to feel a slight rip with a twinge of pain at least, but instead her body simply stretched itself open, welcoming the sensation.

Ben had settled himself inside her all the way now and was peering down at her in curiosity. Rey smiled lovingly up at her handsome man. "I'm good, keep going." She placed her hands on the backs of his shoulders.

He slowly started to pump in and out of her, his deep, throaty moans finally released, matching in time with Rey's. He used his free hand to continue pleasuring her bundle of nerves.

Their pace quickened and intensified, as Rey rocked her hips to meet with each of his thrusts. Both of them were panting and Ben was starting to drip with sweat. They thought of nothing, only feeling each other becoming one entity together. They moaned out their belonging to one another, each calling out the other's name, in harmony.

Rey felt as if her body had been coiling up tighter and tighter, until it would finally break. She gave one last throaty moan, as her body shuddered and collapsed around him. She dug her nails into his shoulder blades as she rode out her release.

Ben wasn't far behind her, as he had been struggling to maintain his composure, until after she'd come. Upon feeling her walls quiver and clamp down onto his member, he gave in, and groaned while pumping out his release.

He rolled off of her and lay down beside her. Rey was panting with eyes closed, relishing the sensations she had just experienced and letting them steep into her memory.

"Oh maker… Ben… that was incredible." She could sense that something about his force signature seemed _different_. She rolled onto her side, propping herself up on an elbow and gazed into Ben's face.

He met her stare with one of awe and love. **"No, _You're_ incredible." **He sat up and playfully nuzzled her ear with his nose, before giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Rey could only giggle, caught up in a moment of pure bliss.

Ben got up and headed towards the refresher, **"Do you want to join me? I'm going to shower off."** He looked over his shoulder grinning at her.

Rey was caught checking him out and blushed. "Yes." She got up and followed him into the little room. She hadn't felt so blissful in her whole life. She had finally met the one, whom her soul had longed for so many years. She finally felt _complete_.


	13. Different

**A.N:** Hello everyone! I'm happy to finally submit another chapter and I look forward to the feedback. Enjoy!

Chapter 13: Different

Ben started running the water, adjusting the nozzle after testing the temperature of it with his hand. He got into the shower first while she hung back for a brief moment, to examine her eyes and body in the mirror.

She looked the same as before but felt _different_ somehow. She felt as if she was suddenly more grounded and more secure, in her existence than ever before. She felt a strange sense of possession over Ben now, like he belonged to her. The mere thought of him leaving her; sent cold chills up her spine in fear, and a searing rage briefly licked at the inside of her mind.

Rey shook her head attempting to clear out these odd new feelings. She told herself, _All that matters now is that, we know how deeply we feel and that we will always be there for each other._ She took a deep, calming breath before stepping inside the shower stall.

Rey blushed at seeing their shared nakedness again. It was odd seeing him bathe, compared to seeing and touching his naked body, like she had done moments ago. They took turns using the water; one of them would be using the soap, while the other one was occupied rinsing it off in the water.

They conversed about several different topics, as if they weren't hanging out together naked. Ben quickly explained that she didn't need to worry about getting pregnant, due to the medication provided to everyone in the First Order.

 **"** **It was made for both sexes to take, in order to prevent any unwanted births aboard the Order's ships."** He explained that he had continued to take it out of habit; but had decided that once he had left the order, would plan on slowly lowering the dose, so that he could wean his body off of it, without causing strain.

Rey stated to him that she thought she should go into town tomorrow, so she could get some medicine like that to take for herself. "Plus while we're there we can look around for the part that I need, so that I can replace it and be able to build my new lightsaber."

 **"** **Yeah good idea, well its settled then. We'll go tomorrow."** Ben was grinning at her. He felt like a new person because of her, never in his life had he ever felt as calm and filled with joy, as he did when he was with her.

She was beaming up at him, and Ben could feel the energy radiating off of Rey. She was giving off waves of emotions that he could feel with the force. The feeling of belonging, newfound love and excitement for what it would bring to her life.

Rey was excited about exploring the little town with Ben; he knew so much about other places and cultures than she did, and she couldn't wait to learn a lot from him. His intellect was one of the many appeals that she found attractive in him.

Rey began to reminisce about their earlier lovemaking session; his warm almost burning body flushed with hers, experiencing immense pleasure unknown to her before that moment. She noticed that her body suddenly felt warm and she was craving him again. Her eyes roamed around, drinking in the sight of his toned body glistening in the falling water.

He turned around and caught her hungry stare, surprised at how quickly she had become aroused. He tilted his head at her in question, waiting to see what she would do.

She leaned an arm against the shower wall and bit her lower lip seductively at him. Her stare became glossed over with lust.

"I want to try doing something to you, whenever you're ready to go at it again." She raised an eyebrow suggestively, in case she wasn't being obvious enough to make her intentions clear.

He got the message all right. His manhood jumped up for a second, at both the sight of her and what she had said. That was all that was needed for Ben's desire to wake again.

 **"** **You know you can do whatever you want."** He smiled at her, amused and curious to what she was planning.

Rey wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and planted a deep kiss onto his lips. He responded instinctively by grabbing onto her hips and kissing her back, with deep longing growing between them.

She crept a hand down to one of his ass cheeks and squeezed, making him gasp and jump in surprise. She used that second of distraction to slip down and crouch in front of his growing cock.

She grasped onto it, gently squeezing and releasing it, while going down the length of his shaft. Ben shuddered at the sensation of her grasp; it was both tender and warm. She gripped him at the base of his shaft, leaned forward and licked circles around the head.

He let loose a moan and she took this as a sign of encouragement. She wrapped her lips around the tip and swirled her tongue, making him let out a string of groans.

Rey wanted to see how far she could go, so she started slowly taking in more of him, while sucking and beginning to stroke his shaft. It didn't take Ben long for the pleasure to build up to a critical level. He placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention, and she looked up at him with lust-filled eyes.

 **"** **Rey, I can't hold out much longer. What would you like to do?"** Ben's eyes were completely honey brown and staring into hers with devotion. There was no way that he would be selfish enough to get off, before doing so to Rey first.

"I want _you_ Ben. Right here, right now." She stood up, turned around and placed both hands against the wall for support, while bending at the waist to expose herself to him.

He gently eased his hard member into her wet center, making her release a moan in delight. He carefully held onto her hips for support as he began to move in and out of her.

She started to ease herself back and forth in harmony with his movements, increasing their shared pleasure. Their speed gradually increased, along with the intensity of the moans coming from them.

At precisely the same moment, they both moaned each other's names loudly, as the intensifying pleasure took over their bodies.

They then quickly rewashed themselves and got out of the shower before the water turned cold. They redressed into their comfortable clothes and were relaxing on Ben's bed, both quiet in contemplation.

Rey had noticed the change in both her and Ben's force signature since they had become physically intimate. Even though it had been around an hour or so ago, she could feel the light within him grow substantially and his anger had almost diminished completely while being in her presence.

She also could feel the slight darkness that was inside of her, growing almost as much as his light had. It was as if they were melting into each other, each of them having an equal effect on the other.

This was troubling as she didn't want them to simply trade which sides of the force they were on, but to truly find balance within the force together.

"Ben? Do you sense any difference in our force signatures?" She eyed him out of her peripheral vision, as he sat up from having been laying down, to look at her.

 **"** **Yes. I know exactly what you are talking about. Are you concerned?"** His brows were furrowed and his eyes expressed his worry. This was exactly the kind of unforeseen consequence that he was worried about and tried to avoid in the first place.

"Slightly. I don't want us to end up trading which side of the force we're on. I want us to be able to find the balance in between the two sides." They gazed into each other's eyes finding understanding.

Rey continued, "I would really like for us to spend time meditating tomorrow, so that we can figure out how to find the balance. What do you think?"

 **"** **I agree with you. When I meditated earlier with you, it was the first time I actually felt it work for me. Maybe this is how I learn to control my emotions and find that balance within myself. It just took being with you to bring enough of the light out in me."**

His eyes were sincere and expressed gratitude towards Rey and everything she had done for him. She quickly placed a chaste kiss on his lips and cupped his cheek in her hand. "Promise me that you'll help me keep out most of the darkness, and in return, I'll help you accept most of the light. We will both need a little of each side to find true balance."

 **"** **I promise you that and anything else you need sweetheart. Now let's get some rest so that we can build your new lightsaber tomorrow."** He grinned at her, clearly excited at getting to spend another wonderful day with her and to get the chance to help her build a new saber.

They cuddled together in a spooning position listening to each other's breathing, until they drifted off into a deep and peaceful slumber.


	14. Confronting the Past

**A.N:** Hello everyone! I hope you all are enjoying the story, and I do welcome any _constructive_ criticism. Enjoy!

Chapter 14: Confronting the Past

Ben awoke later than what was typical for him and quickly realized that Rey wasn't beside him. Using the force, he searched for her and felt that she was still on the ship. He sleepily wondered towards the kitchen and saw her attempting to make breakfast for them.

"Oh good, you're awake just in time to eat. I hope I made everything edible, I've never made eggs before." She smiled and placed two plates down on the table as he sat down.

 **"It looks and smells good. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself just because you haven't had an opportunity to make it before."**

He started devouring them and was finished eating in no time. Rey had only just begun to eat her own, so he decided to start cleaning up for her.

"You're right these aren't half bad, haha." She stated while having a mouthful of food. He chuckled at her as he didn't mind her lack of manners, but instead found her oddly charming.

 **"I'd be happy to give you some tips and pointers, on how to make improvements tomorrow morning if you'd like."**

"I would like that a lot, you seem to be quite skilled at cooking Ben." She beamed up at him, and he blushed at her compliment. "But you're not allowed to sleep in, if you're going to teach me about breakfast, hahaha."

 **"Haha, ok deal. I slept in much later than I usually do, and I think you're the reason for it Rey. I haven't slept that peacefully in ages."** He turned to glance at her briefly before returning to the pans.

"Really? Well that's good, I'm glad that I could help. Are you about ready to come meditate with me?"

Ben had just finished drying and putting away the last of the dishes. **"I am, but before we go there is something I need first."** She looked questioningly at him for a moment then, he leaned in close to her and gave her a tender and affectionate kiss.

 **"Thank you for breakfast Rey, it was delicious."** He stared into her eyes lovingly for a moment, causing her to blush now. **"Come on let's go."** Holding hands, they walked outside together into the sunlight and sat down beside the giant tree nearby.

They took time to focus their breathing and sat there meditating for at least an hour. Eventually Rey opened her eyes to see that Ben was still going. _I'm so glad that he's actually benefitting from this practice now._

Not wanting to disturb him she closed her eyes and listened to his slow, steady breaths. After a while, she peeked at him to see that he was sitting there staring at her. She opened her eyes, "I've been done for a while now I just didn't want to disturb you."

 **"Thank you, I appreciate you doing that."**

"How do you feel?" She was studying his face in an attempt to read his emotions but he was difficult to read.

 **"I feel the closest to being at peace as I've ever felt in my entire life. I don't feel angry anymore, but now it's quickly being replaced by feelings of regret and pain instead."** He paused for a moment and swallowed his building emotions before continuing.

 **"It feels as though my heart is on fire, trying to consume my entire being. It's… overwhelming. Rey I have to know… how can you possibly have compassion for me, after all of the things that I've done?"**

He looked into her face with tremendous sorrow and raw pain. She saw the tears forming in his eyes, knowing that he was mostly referring to Han's death.

"Ben I've forgiven you because, I know that it hurt you more than it hurt me, he was _your_ father. I only had a short time with him, but you had a childhood's worth of resentment and complicated feelings towards him." She placed a hand over top of his to comfort him.

"I'm not trying to make excuses for your actions; but Snoke would have punished you severely, if he found out that you hadn't done what you could have, to stop him and us in that moment. I understand the position you were in, and I'm just so sorry that you had to go through that. I know that deep down you're a good person and you've suffered so much. That's why I'm so determined to help you."

She brushed his hand with her thumb, while he let out his building sorrow in giant sobs, for having murdered his father. **"He was trying to _save_ me Rey… and instead I took his life. I _am_ a monster and I don't deserve your forgiveness."**

"Oh Ben, that's not true. You didn't choose this path by yourself Snoke forced it upon you. He knew of your bloodline, and sought out to influence and corrupt your mind. I suspect that he is also to blame, for causing Luke to make that terrible mistake on that fateful night."

Through his weeping he managed to speak, **"Even so… how am I supposed to make things right? I've ruined my mother's life as well as my own. She'll never forgive me for what I've done."**

"You don't know that for certain. She was the one who told Han to bring you back home. They both wanted you back desperately. Your father's death doesn't have to be in vain, Ben… you just need to come back to your mother, and to the light."

Rey shifted uneasy before continuing, "I hope your not mad but, I had to tell her what I was doing to be able to come see you. She still had hope in her heart that you would come back to her. That proves that she still cares for you doesn't it?"

He looked up into Rey's eyes with hope building in his own. **"Really? She still wants me to come back?"**

"Of course she does Ben, she must see the same things that I see in you. I can give her a message from you when I go back to the Resistance, if you want me to."

His eyes lit up at the chance to begin to make things right with his mother. Sighing he spoke, **"I'll need some time to think about what to say…I don't even know where to begin."**

"You know that I'll help you in anyway that I can Ben." She gazed lovingly at the broken man before her. Everyone has his or her own struggles in life and he was no exception. They were both lonely, broken people but maybe together they could learn how to become whole.


	15. Going to Temmok

**A.N:** Hello everyone! I'm back after a long break from writing. Unfortunately my laptop was destroyed, so Im going to use my kindle from here on out. Please review and enjoy! (edited 7-19-19)

Chapter 15: Going to Temmok

Ben and Rey continued to sit together under the tree, while he worked through his torrent of raw emotions. She held him tightly in her arms all the while stroking his hair comfortingly. After a good amount of time had passed and Ben was calm again, they started a conversation about the nearby town.

 **"It's called Temmok I believe, and is known for it's fine fabrics. You would love to see the clothes there Rey."** He was glad for the shift in conversation and wanted to preoccupy his thoughts with Rey. He desired to treat Rey to life's pleasures any chance he got.

"Wow it sounds lovely. I honestly wouldn't mind owning a dress. I only have practical clothes and it would be nice to have something special and feminine for once." She looked away shyly as she wasn't used to asking people for things, even if she knew Ben would happily oblige her.

He tenderly cupped her chin to bring her face towards his, and kissed her slowly on the lips. **"We will find and get you the dress of your dreams today sweetheart. Among other things."** He smiled sweetly down at her, before they parted to their ships in order to change clothes.

The pair were in the same clothes from when they first met up on the planet. The only differences were that, Ben was wearing a dark grey cloak and Rey wasn't bringing her staff.

"Here, put your saber in my satchel. That way it will be hidden but available if needed." Rey was always prepared for the unexpected but didn't want Ben to be able to fly off the handle should something happen. He wasn't exactly balanced yet, and she wanted to be able to stay on Takodana with him for a while, without worrying about people trying to arrest or capture them.

He hesitated for a brief moment before obliging her. He quickly took her hand in his, as they began down the path that led to the town of Temmok.

Upon arriving, they saw many structures made with tan bricks clustered together. The sounds of people going about their day could be heard, and the smell of foods cooking seemed to follow them everywhere. The town had a comforting warmth about it that Rey found quite appealing.

She couldn't help beaming up at Ben, she was clearly enjoying the atmosphere. He gave her a quaint smile in return, glad that their excursion was having the desired impact.

He steered her into a small shop that had an upstairs, to hold all the different clothes it had for sale. She was immediately in awe at the selection of styles and colors available, and wasted no time picking some out.

Ben waited outside the dressing room for her to come out and show off her potential favorites. The first dress was a dark maroon color which she claimed looked to bold on her. The second one was a little beige dress, her and Ben agreed that it was just too plain.

Then Rey tried on the third dress. It was pale blue and had a flowy layer around her shoulders that would flow in the breeze. It was made out of a silky but crisp fabric that Ben called taffeta.

Ben bought it for her as well as some ballet wedge shoes that were the same color. She wore the ensemble out of the store as they journied to their next destination. Before long they were standing in front of a scap parts shop.

It only took them about twenty minutes to find the part they were seeking. Rey had also picked out a few other pieces for a project of hers, that she was planning on creating in the future.

After they had purchased the parts, they decided to grab a quick meal before heading back to where their ships were located. They each ate a plate full of noodles, made out of flour, with differing sauces and were served with salads and garlic bread.

 **"Rey, you look stunning in that dress. You could almost pass as royalty you know."** Ben had been gawking at her every since she had put it on in the store. He had waited until he could have her undivided attention to tell her what he had been thinking.

Rey smiled, breifly blushing back at him. "What do you mean almost?" She eyed him playfully before taking another bite of food.

 **"Well...all you're missing is some expensive jewelry, a fancy hairdo and some makeup. Then you would look like true royalty"** Ben loved this beautiful woman by his side and would never cease to flatter her whenever the chance presented itself.

"Ben you really think so? Or are you just being a charming scoundrel?" She chuckled at the look on his face at the words charming scoundrel.

He looked playfully taken aback at first, but then his expression turned to one of sincerity. **"Of course I really think so, Rey you're truly an amazing person. You can not only protect yourself and others, but also play the role of a delicate damsel if you so choose to."**

 **"I love how you're strong, self-reliant, brave and most of all kind-hearted. You could have let the environment that you grew up in, ruin that about you, but you didn't. You thrived despite of it, and I love that the most about you."** Ben's ears were blushing but he ignored it.

Rey chocked back a sob, she was deeply moved by his wholehearted words. She quickly wiped the tears trying to form in her eyes. "Thank you Ben. Thank you so much for saying that." They held hands as they made their way back, with Rey holding onto his arm and resting her head on his shoulder.

Once back to their ships, Rey brought out the remains of Luke's broken light saber from her satchel. She then retreived the Jedi text she was reading from her ship that had diagrams of sabers in it. She spread everything out on the kitchen table in Ben's ship.

They both took a moment to close their eyes and connect to the force. Rey faced the open book and parts with her hands hovering above them. Ben stood behind her with his hands above hers. He would only assist her while she fixed the saber. Even though it had been his grandfather's and his uncle's saber, he knew that it truly belonged to Rey as it had called out to her on this very planet.

Rey began to lift the pieces into the air. One half of the split kyber crystal floated in the middle of all the parts, as they connected to each other and formed a hilt around it. Within an hour, the process was complete and they together had crafted a near exact replica of the old saber.

 **"What do you plan on doing with the other half of the kyber crystal?"** Ben had been wondering throughout the process why she was only using half of the crystal.

"Well... I was hoping that if I could ever find a kyber crystal of my own, that I could use this other half with it to make a double bladed saber that resembles my staff. I would most likely break down my staff to repurpose it for this. What do you think?"

Rey was concerned about how he might feel about this project of hers. She knew he felt some sort of sentimental value towards the old saber, and she was planning on using a piece of it for her own gain.

Ben closed his eyes for a brief moment, processing what she had told him. Opening his eyes, his expression was passive. **"I think that would suit your fighting style. You grew up using that kind of weapon so it makes sense that you would create a staff as your own light saber."**

 **"If you're wondering if this idea upsets me, the answer is no. I think that you deserve a light saber that is uniquely yours that you create from the ground up. I want you to have whatever will make you happy Rey.** **That's all that matters to me anymore."**

Rey ran into Ben's arms and devoured his mouth with her own. She couldn't form the words to express how important and loved he was making her feel, so she decided that a heated kiss would have to do.

The new saber would have to wait a bit before getting it's chance to be tried out. Rey had higher priorities at the moment.


	16. Unexpected Visitors

**A.N:** Hello everyone, I hope you all enjoy reading! I'm curious to see if anyone recognizes where the last line of this chapt. came from? If you have an idea let me know in the review section! (edited 7-19-19) B.T.W, the line was from Avatar the last airbender when Zukko tries to join the group it made me laugh.

Chapter 16: Unexpected Visitors

Ben wrapped Rey up in his large muscular arms as they continued to embrace. Rey thrust her hands into his raven curls, while seeking out his tongue with her own. A moan escaped from his throat fueling their building desire for each other.

All of a sudden, a loud and frantic beeping noise was being emitted from what sounded like Rey's ship. The pair groaned in annoyance at the disruption, and went to check out what exactly was making the noise.

It was coming from Rey's packed bag of things. She dug it out of the bottom and realized that it was the tracking device that Leia had given her. It was flashing lights as well, but ceased its racket upon her pushing its button.

"Leia gave me this, it's a tracking device. Someone from the Resistance must be trying to locate me." Rey quickly explained with a slight panicked look. "She's the only one who knows what I'm doing here."

 **"How do you want to handle this? We don't have much time."** Ben was also looking panicked and concerned.

"Let me see who it is and talk to them. They probably just want to check up on me and see if I'm alright. You should keep yourself hidden in your ship, maybe even take it for a brief flight. Here take your saber just in case, but I'd rather you not kill anyone from the Resistance if it can be avoided."

 **"Sounds good to me. Are you going to tell anyone what exactly you're doing on this planet?"** Ben raised an eyebrow at her. He had a feeling that whoever was looking for her, wasn't going to like or easily accept the truth.

"The only people who I feel need to know are Finn and Poe. If it's them, then I'll feel extremely compelled to tell them the truth. Keep your comm-relay close, I'll contact you when it's over or if I need you. " She reached up and gave him a quick but deep kiss. "Stay safe, I love you. "

The pair ran out of Rey's ship. Ben sprinted towards his own and started up its engine for flight. Rey was holding her tracking device and had her satchel containing her saber, blaster and comm-relay. Almost as soon as Ben's ship disappeared over the horizon, Poe's X-Wing appeared on the opposite side of the sky.

It quickly located her and landed three hundred feet away from her ship. Within minutes, an excited Finn and Poe emerged from the small fighter ship.

"Rey!" Finn hurried over to her and hugged her. "It's so good to see you. He beamed.

"Finn, I told you she was going to be fine didn't I? It's only been a day since we've last seen her." He chuckled at his friend, then proceeded to look Rey up and down briefly. "Wow, a dress huh? Is this how you dress when undercover? It looks amazing on you." He flashed a flirtatious smile at her that reached his eyes.

She looked away and focused on Finn. " It's good to see you too but, why are you here? You know that I'm on a mission, and I have my tracking device should I need to be picked up. " She was letting her agitation show slightly, through her tone and by placing her hands on her hips.

Finn looked guilty and stared at her feet, "I know, and I'm sorry Rey. I just couldn't help but worry and you left so quickly that I didn't get a chance to ask you, what is your mission about? Do you need backup? We're here if you need us. "

Rey couldn't stay irked at her friend for being concerned, he was that way with everyone he cared about. She sighed, "Does Leia know you're here?"

Poe answered, "Yeah she does, but we had to beg her to let us come here. She told us to come back first thing tomorrow morning with a status report from you. "

Rey thought about her next move. She desperately wanted to confide in someone she trusted about what was going on. However, Poe was still acting like he had a crush on her, which was making it hard for her to trust him with this sensitive information.

"Poe could you wait here for a bit while I talk to Finn? " Poe looked a bit crestfallen but nodded his head yes in response.

She lead him into the main hold on her ship before facing him and beginning to speak. "Finn, what I'm about to tell you, you can't speak about to anyone except Leia and possibly Poe. Even him I'm unsure of." She paused taking a deep breath to steady her emotions.

Finn was patiently listening with a serious look on his face. Rey continued, "Ever since I left to find Luke on Ahch-To, I've been having these force connections with Be-Kylo Ren. We had really begun to understand and relate to each other due to these connections. What most people don't know is that I went to the Supremacy before the battle on Crait, in an attempt to bring him back from the dark side."

Finn's eyes were large with shock but she pressed on. "Snoke had ordered him to kill me, but instead he killed Snoke and we had to fight together for our lives. In the end things obviously didn't go as I had hoped, but Luke understood. He knew that he had to face him, to apologize for failing him as a master so that the healing could start."

"Leia still wants her son back, and I'm determined to help Ben find the balance that he deserves to have. Snoke had influenced his mind since he was in the womb Finn, and now he is finally free from that dark influence. He can finally learn how to truly be himself. It kinda reminds me of you once you were free from the First Order."

At these words Finn's expression grew softer but still skeptical. "Finn, my mission is to find balance with him and to do whatever I can to help him leave the order. He already has a plan but I've been thinking about playing a more active role in his escape. He's going to try to take out Hux and the Knights of Ren by himself and that doesn't sit well with me. "

Her brows were furrowed in worry about the plan and Finn finally understood where she was coming from. " You really care about him, don't you? "

She was caught off guard by his statement and could only reply with, "Yes, I really do."

Finn was silent for a moment while he scratched his head trying to make sense of everything that he had heard. "Well, if you can see the good in him than I trust you. You're my friend and always will be. Let me know what I can do to help."

Rey was so grateful for her friend's understanding that she hugged him tightly and tears formed in her eyes. "Thank you Finn, I really needed to hear that from you."

Finn patted her on the back and they let go. "Anytime Rey. Now what are we gonna do with Poe? He's not going to be thrilled about this information."

"Well, if you guys aren't leaving until tomorrow, he's bound to find out when Ben comes back. He needs to be prepared for when that happens, we all do. Let's contact Ben and see what he thinks we should do. Plus this might be the best way for the two of you to first speak to each other since Starkiller Base."

Both of them became uncomfortable at the mention of that place and recalling what happened there. Finn came very close to having permanent damage from his and Ben's fight that night. Rey couldn't bare to see them fight like that, she was glad in a way that she was passed out at the time.

"Alright here we go, I'll let him know what's going on before I signal you to speak with him." She took out her comm-relay and pushed the button.

" Ben? I'm here with Finn. I told him what I'm doing and how your planning on leaving the order. "

Silence on the other end. Just before Rey could repeat what she had said, Ben's voice came out of the device. **"What about the pilot? I sense that he's there as well."**

"He is but not with us, we're on my ship. That's what we're calling you about actually. Any advice on how to proceed? " Rey was growing nervous due to not being able to see Ben's expression.

He was silent again for a few moments, then his voice came out calm and almost cold. **"Tell the pilot that I'm here and that if he tries anything, I will not hesitate to put him in his place. I will do whatever else you ask of me Rey, but I will not allow anyone to strike me without repercussions. I will honor your request and not kill anyone from the Resistance but that's it."**

"Okay, give us about a half hour to speak with Poe before you land. Oh and Ben? I have asked Finn to say hello while I've got you on here. Would you do that for me?"

Silence for another moment. Then a long sigh followed with, **"You know I'll do whatever makes you happy Rey, even at my own expense."**

He paused again before saying, **"Hello Finn, Ben here."**


	17. Trust, Judgement and Reason

A.N: Hello everyone, I hope you all enjoy reading and please feel free to comment. I love reading what you all think about each chapt! (edited 7-19-19)

Chapter 17: Trust, Judgement and Reason

Finn looked from the comm-relay to Rey with surprise. Rey nodded encouragingly at Finn to speak. He took a moment to swallow his nerves, before attempting to speak to the man he'd only ever known as Kylo Ren.

"Um, hi. Like Rey has said, I'm Finn. What do you want me to call you?" Finn was clearly nervous and was trying not to upset him. He was used to seeing the rage leap forth from this man, back in the days of serving the First Order.

Ben was quiet, pensive for a moment. **"I'm actually not sure. Maybe just Ren for now? I don't think I'm quite ready to hear you call me Ben."**

"Fair enough. Well it's been good officially meeting you, but I better figure out how I'm going to break this news to Poe. I'll be around if you guys want to talk ." Finn looked relieved after hearing the calmness in Ben's voice and from the conversation going well.

Finn handed Rey back the comm and disappeared out of the ship's door. "Thank you for being civil with my best friend. He might be one of the few people who are on our side. It means more to me than you know." She was so grateful to both of them in that moment.

 **"The whole time I was reaching out to you with the force, so that I could feel how important this was to you. I understand why you treasure this friendship with him and I'm beginning to think that I might be able to tolerate being around him too. He is still fearful of me and hasn't forgiven me for what happened on Starkiller Base, but perhaps one day he will."**

 **"If I were you, I'd be helping him figure out how to handle the pilot Poe. I have a bad feeling about how things are going to go. Stay safe, I love you."**

With that, Rey bolted out of the ship and towards the two resistance fighters. Upon her getting within shouting distance of them, she became aware that Poe was yelling.

"There's no way that bastard will ever turn into a good person! I don't care what she thinks she's doing, she's putting herself in danger for what exactly?! To redeem him?! Why in maker's name does she even care?!" Poe's face was red and contorted in his rage. There obviously was going to be no reasoning with him.

Finn was motioning for him to calm down to no avail. "Poe calm down! Give us a chance to explain things!"

Just then Rey appeared and Poe turned to her. "Why are you doing this?! What do you think you can accomplish by doing this?!" He was looking exasperated but still furious.

Rey took a deep breath so as to not allow his emotions to influence her. "I'm doing this because he never had a choice until after Snoke was killed. I believe in giving him that chance to find balance, and I also believe that he is the key to ending the war. He killed Snoke instead of following his orders to kill me. We understand each other more than you could know."

She took another breath before continuing, "Also, I believe that the two of us are ment to help bring balance to the force and each other. We are essentially two halfs of the same energy, and the force is working through us. Finally, I believe that Leia deserves her son back."

At the mention of General Leia, Poe's face changed to one of sympathy. It quickly turned back into anger and distrust. "I don't see how he can help us end the war. People in the Resistance will never trust him, even if Leia does. It will only undermine her authority." He shook his head. "I'll never be able to trust him, just so you know." He crossed his arms defiantly.

Rey rolled her eyes in response. "Fine Poe, we're not asking you to. I'm only asking that you trust me and Leia's judgment." She copied his tense stance, arms crossed over her chest as well.

He grumbed some sort of acknowledgement to her, all the while refusing to make eye contact, preferring to look at the ground.

"Oh and Poe, if you attempt to act aggressively towards either me or Ben," He shot her a dirty glare at the mention of Ben. "We will not hesitate to put an end to it , swiftly and severely. Just so you know." She returned his hostile look just as his expression changed to shock at her words.

Rey left in a huff, she only wanted to be with Ben at the moment. The tense conversations with her friends was weighing on her emotions now. She suddenly realized that she was more emotionally sensitive than she used to be.

Could it be because of her and Ben bonding together, and balancing themselves through the use of the force? He was the more sensitive one out of the two of them, and he was finally beginning to find balance. It would reason out that she had stifled her emotions growing up in order to survive, and now she was finally finding her true balance as well.

Just then Ben spoke through the force into her mind. " _I'm landing now, be careful though I'm going to land closer to your ship._ " As soon as the words left, she saw his ship land gracefully next to hers. He was truly a skilled pilot and it excited Rey to see him in action.

She jogged up to the ramp and he opened the door for her. As soon as he saw her he grabbed her gently around the waist and kissed her deeply. After a moment they rested their foreheads against each others, savoring the moment.

He gazed lovingly into her eyes, **"How are you feeling sweetheart?"** He sensed her turbulent emotions when he connected to her mind while landing his ship.

"Awful, I hate having to explain complicated things, like how we've gotten to know each other. Especially when I'm trying to do so to someone who refuses to listen." She sighed deeply in frustration.

 **"Well it doesn't matter what one person thinks. You have your reasons and if they actually care about you, than they will accept it. If not, than maybe they shouldn't matter to you."** This was Ben's attempt at trying to get her to look at the situation more objectively.

Rey understood what he was trying to say. Poe wasn't being an understanding friend when she needed him to be. He was acting the opposite of how Finn was. Either time thinking or Finn talking to him, would help him come to terms with things or he simply wouldn't. Either way, Rey was grateful to have Leia and Finn on her side to help her feel like she was doing the right and just thing.

She suddenly remembered about the holotape message that she needed to record to Leia. "Ben, they will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning. I need to record a message to your mother letting her know how things are going. I was thinking... maybe you could say something brief at the end of it?" She was hoping he wasn't feeling too upset over their surprise visitors, and would agree despite this being a painful step in his healing process.

To her surprise, he slowly nodded his head in agreement after closing his eyes and mulling it over. **"I'm going to meditate in my quarters before I do so. You go ahead and get yours recorded and retrieve me after an hour."**

She tenderly grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze before he made towards his sleeping quarters. She knew exactly what she wanted to say so she plopped down on the tiny sofa in Ben's ship. She set up the holotape to record and began.

"General Leia, make sure that you are the only one around when you play this message. There will be some sensitive information disclosed. Things are proceeding at a quick pace and they are going very well. I met with Finn and Poe which was a surprise, and Finn took the info better than I anticipated. Poe on the other hand, I'm unsure of."

"Ben hasn't come face to face with either of them yet, and I plan on keeping it that way...for now. We were able to rebuild Luke's saber together but haven't had a chance to test it yet. We have started meditating together and I believe that it's benefiting us both. I can feel the darkness fade from his mind and being replaced by my light. However, that means that it's going into mine, so he's helping me find balance as well."

"I know it is dangerous but so is being a force user. Don't worry about us, we have each other and we are strong together. I believe that Ben has something he wants to say to you so, until we meet again, may the force be with you." Rey smiled and stopped the recording.


	18. Promise

A.N: Hello everyone, please do me a favor and let me know what you think, thanks! (edited 7-19-19)

Chapter 18: Promise

Rey had finished her recording in hardly any time, so she decided to spend the remainder of the hour testing out the rebuilt saber. She quickly grabbed it out of her bag and made her way outside into the dark late-afternoon.

She took her fighting stance while holding the saber and ignited it. The light saber lit up blue and emitted a crackling sound similar to Ben's own red saber. She guessed that the reason for this was because the kyber crystal had been split in half.

She began to go through her routine while twirling and slashing with the saber. It glided effortlessly through the air, staying brilliantly lit the whole time, never wavering. Once she was satisfied with testing it, she turned it off.

All at once, she was aware of Finn standing nearby and gasped having been startled by his sudden appearance. "For maker's sake Finn! Don't scare me like that!" She turned to face him and he took a few steps towards her.

"Sorry Rey, I didn't want to startle you while you had your light saber ignited. I just wanted to talk to you some more before we leave tomorrow." He was scratching his head and wouldn't look directly into her eyes.

"Sure thing, what about exactly?" She knew before she had even asked him.

"Well... I'm just trying to wrap my head around everything you stated earlier. I'm not trying to get you to change your mind, I'm just trying to accept it I guess." He finally looked into her eyes, obviously nervous."

"Rey, I just want to ask you one thing and I won't tell Poe if you don't want me to." He paused and swallowed. "Do you... love Ren?"

She felt as if her whole body was frozen still, paralyzed in panic. She wasn't ready to admit the truth to anyone else besides Leia, but Finn had already figured it out. She managed to clear her throat, "Is that what it seems like?" Now it was her turn to look away.

"To be honest, yes. I think that is partially why Poe is acting the way he is. Rey if it's true, than let me stay here and get to know him. I will be able to vouch for him to anyone who questions you about him. You know that I only want to help you, please Rey. You don't have to do this alone."

"Finn I won't lie to you, it's true... I do love him. I'm just not sure if you staying here will help us while we're attempting to balance ourselves. Don't Let Poe know either, I know he's already suspicious. Let me go talk to Ben about this, I'll be right back."

She disappeared into Ben's ship and ran into his quarters. She first handed him the holotape to record his message on and quickly brought him up to date on her conversation with Finn.

Ben was silent and contemplative before finally stating, **"He's your friend so it's up to you to decide. I'll go along with whatever you choose, so long as the pilot leaves as soon as possible."**

She gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek before running out to tell Finn that it would be fine if he stayed. She told Finn that he could sleep in her ship as she was staying in Ben's anyway. They proceeded to walk towards her ship so she could show him around it.

"I'll grab my things real quick, there's plenty of room for it on Ben's ship. You can have the whole place to yourself now. Oh and I'll talk to Ben and see if he feels like having you over for a meal sometime tomorrow. We kind of have a morning routine going on, so it will most likely be either lunch or dinner." She told him in a jovial tone while grinning from ear to ear.

"That sounds nice, thanks Rey. It will be interesting to see how the two of you get along together, I look forward to it." He grinned back at her wholeheartedly.

"Well I'm going to go talk to Poe and tell him about me deciding to stay. Be sure to give him that holotape recording before he leaves tomorrow. I don't know when he'll leave but my guess is around sunrise." The friends waved before parting ways.

When Rey returned, she found Ben cooking up a quaint meal for the two of them. **"It will be ready shortly. Are you ready to retire for the evening, from your associates?"** Ben eyed her playfully but there was still a slight hint of irritation in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, they have taken up so much of my time today. I really just want to be here for you whenever you might need me." She had dumped her things onto the floor and sat down at the table, placing her hands in her lap. She was feeling guilty and couldn't bring herself to look at him.

 **"It's fine Rey. I actually needed some time alone to reflect on things, in order to record that message to mother."** He paused briefly and cleared his throat, before setting down the plates of food on the table.

He sat beside her and watched as she began scarfing down the food. Smiling he leaned towards her and almost whispered in her ear. **"Besides, I have an idea of a way for you to pay me back for ignoring me all afternoon."**

Rey halfway choked on food and had to drink some water to wash it down. She was surprised at his sudden interest in physical intimacy, especially after such an emotional day for the both of them. She reasoned that perhaps they both could use a distraction from dwelling on the events of the day.

He had started eating as if he hadn't whispered into her ear. She figured that it would be quite amusing if she were to act coy and see how long she could tease him before he lost it. She continued to eat as well, but slipped her free hand onto his inner thigh.

He tensed briefly at the sensation of her touch, but that only lasted a moment before he wrapped his arm around her. They finished eating like this and Rey got up to take the plates to the sink. She walked extra slow, almost sauntering there, so that she could show off her hips and ass to him.

Ben was aware of what she was doing and wanted to see how far she was willing to take things. He sneakily slipped out of the room, down the hallway and into his room. When she turned around he wasn't in sight.

She followed her intuition and found him in his room lounging around on the bed. He was obviously waiting for her. A sly grin spread across his face, **"So...how do you want to pay me back?"**

She grinned back at him blushing slightly. "Showing you would be better than telling you sweetheart." She winked and removed her dress and shoes that they had gotten her earlier.

Ben's eyes widened and then softened at the sight of her in her undergarments. She strode over to the bed and climbed on top of him, sealing his mouth with her own in a searing kiss.

They continued to kiss while she felt for his shirt and flung it off. Rey ran her hands up and down his pecs then felt his hard abs. She proceeded to remove her bralette as well as his pants, only breaking the kiss to do so.

Ben was panting for breath at this point, as so was Rey. She straddled his hips and tantalizingly rubbed his growing cock with a few fingers, with only his underwear as a barrier. He moaned deeply and grabbed her ass with his large hands, squeezing her voluptuous rear.

She leapt off of him and removed the last of his clothing, growing impatient herself. She stepped out of her underwear and knelt down on the edge of the bed. Just as Ben looked up to see what she was doing, she grabbed his erection and began to pleasure it with her mouth.

He moaned even deeper and more frequently. Rey could feel herself growing more wet and had to stop herself before too long. Ben reached a hand out for her to grab, when she did, he pulled her into a desperate kiss.

He continued to embrace her down her neck and made his way to her breasts, licking and sucking on her nipples gently.

Feeling like the intense arousal was going to explode within her, Rey stopped him with a hand, turned around and placed all her limbs on the bed for support.

He caught on that she was ready so, he grabbed himself, rubbed her wet, hot womanhood with his thick cock a few times, and then slowly penetrated her.

Now it was Rey's turn to moan. His pace was slow at first, but it quickly picked up with her encouraging sounds. She used a free hand to rub her clit, greatly increasing her pleasure.

Soon, Ben was sweating with his effort and Rey kept encouraging him to go harder and deeper. All of a sudden, she screamed out her climax which in turn, caused Ben to moan out his own release.

They laid down beside each other, panting heavily and completely enveloped in the moment. After a while, Ben began to spoon her and place tender kisses on her neck and back.

 **"I never thought that I would get the chance, to experience true intimacy like this. Rey, I know you feel what I feel and... It's unlocked something in me that I never knew was there. I'm no longer lonely or feel abandoned anymore, and it's all thanks to you."**

In that moment, Rey felt like she was the missing part of Ben's soul and he was her's. She smiled sweetly with tears of joy forming in the corners of her eyes.

"I feel the same way. I don't know what I would do without you, after all of this. Promise me that you'll never leave."

Ben's arms squeezed her gently around the waist, he kissed her on the ear and whispered. **"I promise that I'll never leave you sweetheart."**


	19. Acceptance

A.N: Hello everyone, I know it's been a long time but I'm finally back! Hope you all enjoy. (edited 7-19-19)

Chapter 19: Acceptance

Rey had awoken early the following morning, due to the sunlight beaming through the view port right onto her face. She carefully got out of bed and dressed into her brown pants and tunic look with boots to match. She grabbed the holotape off of the kitchen table where Ben had left it, and went outside to find Poe.

She saw him and Finn off in the distance sitting near Poe's X-Wing, in front of a bonfire they had made. As she approached them, she saw that they were drinking what smelled like Spiced caf.

Finn saw her and motioned for her to join them. He got up and offered her his chair, which was a log, saying how he needed to stand up for a bit anyway. "We didn't sleep very much so I'm probably going to try to get some more sleep soon. Want some caf? It's the spiced kind so it tastes better black than the regular does."

Rey smiled and accepted a mug of the delicious smelling hot beverage. She sipped on it in silence, enjoying the quiet and peaceful morning, the smell of her surroundings covered in morning dew, and the company of her friends whom she had already missed being around. She noticed Poe was eyeing her out of the corner of her eye, but wished to enjoy every second of this moment that she could before he started up with her again.

It didn't take long for him to get impatient. "Rey, could I talk to you in private for a second?" he looked at Finn briefly who took this opportunity to excuse himself, saying that he was going to go to bed for a bit, and headed off towards Rey's ship.

Poe waited for Finn to be out of earshot before starting while staring at his feet. "Rey, I'm sorry for how I reacted yesterday. I was caught off guard by what you told us and I reacted poorly, again I'm sorry." He finally looked at her now and his eyes told her that he was sincere. Before she could respond he pressed on.

"You must know that I really care for you Rey. I may not understand why, or want you to go through with this but... if it's something you believe you must do, than I'll trust you and support you any way that I can." he sighed and she noticed that he was blushing.

"This is hard for me to accept because I don't trust the guy. He tortured me Rey, how can I ever trust someone who has done that to me? Not to mention that I saw him give orders to murder a whole village. Sorry, I know I'm ranting now. Point is...(sigh) you're unique and special Rey, I care about you so much more than as just a friend. I know you probably don't feel the same way about me, and that's okay, I just want you to be safe and happy even if it's with someone else."

He sighed again and couldn't bring himself to look at her anymore. Rey was unsure of how to respond or react. She took a slow and steady breath in an attempt to focus her thoughts.

"Poe, I really appreciate you being honest with me about how you feel about all of this. I know it's a lot to understand all at once and I only ask that you trust me, which you said that you do. Thank you, for being a good friend to me and for saying you'll support me in this." Rey smiled at him, glad that the tension could be over with at last. He returned her smile but there was a touch of sadness to it.

"Here, this is my status report for Leia. I shouldn't have to tell you that it's for her eyes only, right?" She knew he wasn't much for protocol but she hoped he would at least not snoop into her private business.

Poe acted pretend offended at her remark, "Of course not, I know how to do my job don't worry." They both chuckled while he put it safely away in his X-Wing.

"Well, I've already said goodbye to Finn and gave him a long distance comm relay, for future status reports from the two of you. It's time for me to get back to the base before Leia sends out a search party." They both chuckled again, Rey did a little nervously at the thought of a party of resistance fighters showing up for the three of them.

"Goodbye Rey, I hope things go the way you want them to, and good luck." He shook her hand and climbed into his X-Wing. Before the top closed he shouted, "You can always call if you need any backup!" The top closed, he fired up the engine and in a moment was gone.

Rey sat around the cozy bonfire sipping her caf and reflecting on her conversation with Poe. She believed that Finn talking to him almost all night played a big role in his acceptance of everything. Not to mention that Finn would be staying here with her and Ben, that was sure to lessen his worries about her. She wished he wouldn't care so much.

She dumped the remaining caf onto the fire, extinguishing it. While on her way back to Ben, she stopped by her old ship to see if Finn was awake or not. He was snoring so she continued on towards Ben's ship.

She walked as quietly as she could, to check and see if he was still sleeping. Ben was still laying down with his eyes closed, a peaceful look on his face. Rey decided to see what she could manage to cook for breakfast. She didn't want to wake him up, but couldn't help remembering their conversation from yesterday morning about him helping her with cooking eggs.

She got out a couple of pans, one for eggs and the other for ham. She brewed up some coffee using a bag of pre-ground beans that was in the pantry. She was about to start getting out her ingredients when she heard a soft thud from behind her and turned around.

Ben had just sat down at the table. **"I thought you were going to let me help you with breakfast today."** His expression was unreadable but his voice seemed slightly agitated, not soft like usual.

"I just thought you were asleep Ben, I didn't want to wake you." He was making her nervous like he was about to accuse her of something but she didn't know what. Why was she feeling the need to be defensive?

 **"I was meditating until you returned. I woke up when I heard you walk off the ship this morning. I figured it would be best for me to meditate so that I wouldn't loose my temper. Rey, please answer me honestly, were you meeting with the pilot?"** His eyes were piercing hers with a mix of anger and searching for any lies.

Rey felt hurt, so now shes not allowed to go meet her friends without Ben's approval? She pushed the thought aside, she knew deep down that Poe and Ben had personal grudges against each other, and would most likely never be able to get along.

She sighed, "Yes, I met up with Poe to give him our holotape for Leia. While I was there, he said he was sorry for how he reacted yesterday and that he would trust me and have my back from here on out. He left right after that." Rey didn't want him to know how deeply Poe cared for her. Ben might just kill him the next time he saw him.

He was quiet for a moment and his expression softened. **"I'm sorry that I get so upset about the pilot, I should act better than that. I trust you Rey and I know you are perfectly capable of dealing with him yourself. It's just that... I feel like he has become the son my mother wished she had. He's in the resistance with her, he's a pilot like my father was, and he's one of her top confidants."**

 **"I have always had insecurities Rey, and I tend to hold on too tightly to those I care about. I don't want to do that to you, but the pilot just reminds me of all of my failures as a son to my mother. I'm sorry."** He got up and hugged her tightly.

She felt a few tears fall down from his eyes onto her shoulder. She teared up as well, hearing the sadness in his voice while explaining his feelings to her. She hugged him tenderly and rubbed his back in comfort.

"You may feel like he is the son your mother always wanted, but i'm sure she would rather have her real son, no matter what you've done. She still loves you Ben."

He was really breaking down his walls for her and she was going to have to do the same in return. Her walls were a bit different though, mostly about her self image and insecurities about how she had to survive.

They broke apart after a few minutes and began cooking together. Ben handled the eggs while walking her through the process, and also explaining the other ways you could cook them. She fried up the ham and made up their plates, pouring them both some coffee. Ben added the eggs once done.

They ate slowly and discussed all the possible dishes that included eggs. They were both laughing as it seemed the possibilities were endless.

One done they began to clean up together. Rey had been wondering something for a while but it was hard for her to ask about it. There was no real gentle way to ask so she decided to get it over with.

"Ben, I've been wondering... what did you say in that holotape?"

He paused what he was doing for a second before continuing and saying, **"Well I said, "Hello Mother it's Ben. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, and that I hope one day you can forgive me. I'm willing to prove to you that I've changed if that's what it takes. Rey is helping me more everyday to become the person I've always wanted to be. I owe everything to her. I hope you are well Mother and until we meet again, may the force be with you.""**

He sighed, **"Do you think it was good enough?"**


	20. Revising Plans

Chapter 20:Revising Plans

Rey met his eyes and saw how anxious he was. "I think what you said was perfect Ben. It showed that you're remorseful and that you still care about her. I'm sure that she will call us on Finn's comm sometime and have something nice to say to you in return."

She wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, gazing lovingly up at him. "Try not to worry so much, everything will work out and fall into place. I have faith that it will."

They joined hands and went outside to their tree for a meditation session. After about an hour of that, they decided to practice sparring. Ben refused to actually spar with a weapon with her, so instead she practiced different fighting forms while he taught her what he knew.

On their way back towards their ship, Rey mentioned that she had asked Finn to share a meal with the two of them sometime today. Ben made an unpleasant face at this but was unable to refuse, after all he did say that the choice was hers to have her friend stay or not. They decided that dinner would be best so that Ben would have time to be ready to face talking to and being civil to Finn.

As soon as they reached the ship, Rey remembered that he hadn't seen the reforged saber in action yet, so she ran inside and brought it out to show him. Ben was impressed that it was as stable as it was, considering how split the kyber crystal had been.

It reminded him of his crackling unsteady red saber which brought up past feelings of self-doubt. The reason that his crystal had cracked when he attempted to bleed it, was because of his own doubts and the fact that he knew he was never fully dark side. There was always a flicker of light within his soul and probably always would be.

The fact that he was embracing the light again, enough to become balanced at least, due to Rey, made his red saber seem like a relic from a past life. He almost didn't want to use it anymore. He had done extensive research his whole life on anything pertaining to the force. When he was under Luke's care, he often got into trouble for looking into dark side related information. He wondered now if it was possible to change or fix his old saber, and make it more appropriate for who he felt like he was now.

 **"Rey could I see your Jedi textbooks? I'm curious about weather I can make alterations to my saber."**

"I don't see why not. While you do that, I'm going to see if Finn is awake yet and tell him about dinner." Ben was already kneeling on the floor looking into which book to start with, when she bent down and chastely kissed his cheek before disappearing out the ship's entrance.

Rey had returned a while later having gotten caught up talking with Finn about Rose and others from the resistance. She returned to see Ben still scanning her books for information on saber crafting. It appeared that he was already working on a different book than the one she last saw him studying.

"Hey can you take a break from that in a second? I've been wanting to talk to you about something for a while now." Rey was uneasy, but ever since he discussed his plan to leave the order and what it would entail, it didn't seem right to her and she worried every time she thought about it.

Ben looked up at her closing the book with a solemn expression. **"Of course, what is on your mind sweetheart?"** He motioned for her to join him on the settee in the kitchen where he was.

She sat down next to him, studying his expression. "Ben, I know you've already come up with your plan on how to leave the order, but I'm worried that something bad could happen to you." He made an attempt to speak but she cut him off. "Just hear me out first before you disagree."

He nodded and she pressed on. "I'm not afraid of fighting and you know that I can hold my own. I just can't sit back and wait for you while you intentionally put yourself into harm's way for us to be together. I've been thinking a lot about this, and I have a revised version of your plan that includes both of us." She paused wishing him to speak his mind now.

 **"I can't bear the thought of losing you, but if the situation was reversed I wouldn't be able to sit on the sidelines either. I understand how you feel. So what's the plan Rey?"**

"We board the First Order's flagship together, me posing as your prisoner. You invite the members of the High Command and Knights of Ren to a celebratory dinner of my impending demise and drug their drinks. Once they have passed out you can make an announcement saying that all stormtroopers should abandon their posts and assimilate into the culture of their planet's choosing, the First Order is disbanding. Then you bust me out of my cell and together we can dispose of our true foes, the High Command and the Knights. What do you think?"

He closed his eyes deep in thought but slowly began to nod. **"What about after that? What if something goes wrong according to plan? Some of the knights could be able to resist the effects of the drug."**

"We could have Finn wait in the cargo hold of our ship and after we disembark he could get into position to fly us out of there in a hurry, at least until one of us makes it up to the pilot chair. We can synchronize our three comms to pick up the same signal so we can all communicate. Maybe in the case that someone is resistant to the drug, get me out of my cell first then make the announcement on the way to taking them down."

Ben nodded smiling at her. **"This might just work Rey. We could do a lot of damage to them before they know what happened, especially if we work together."**

Rey sighed, a weight had been lifted only to be replaced by anxiety over her plan. "That's what I've been thinking."

The two of them decided to take a shower together before dinnertime, as they had worked up a sweat training earlier that morning. As soon as they saw each other undress, they pounced on each other like animals.

Rey jumped onto him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He instinctively grabbed her rear to support her and also to squeeze her plump flesh. They kissed each other heatedly with the passion that any kiss could be their last, they lived dangerous lives after all.

She wove her fingers through his dark hair, while her other hand groped his back muscles turning her on further. Ben was still occupied feeling her bottom, but started to glide his growing member against her wet opening.

She moaned softly feeling his hard length against her, it was tantalizing and full of promise. He lifted her up slightly and set her down slowly onto his cock. They both groaned in relief at the sudden sensation. Ben began to pump in and out of her while supporting her with his large, muscular arms.

It didn't take long for Rey to realize that while supporting her, he was unable to fuck her as hard as she liked. "Set me down." Ben did so with a curious look in his eye. Rey turned around placing her hands on the wall and bending her waist out towards him behind her.

No more words were needed. He slid into her and resumed his pace hitting the spot she desired him to reach.

"uuhhh! yes harder Ben." Rey moaned encouragingly to her lover. He immediately obliged, pounding into her with rapid speed.

In the next moment, her body spasmed around him clamping him inside of her as she moaned his name in bliss. He followed suit moaning her name as he climaxed, pumping slowly to ride out his release for as long as humanly possible.

They collapsed into a pile of flesh onto the floor of the refresher, laughing at themselves for not doing what they had come in there to do. They eventually got up and ran the shower. Making sure to actually bathe instead of getting distracted again.

Once finished, they got dressed relatively nice for dinner. Ben wore his black pants and boots as usual but wore a white, flowing tunic that looked like something a jedi would wear. Rey put on her new blue, flowy dress excited to wear it again, with it's matching shoes. She put on the necklace that Ben had given her on their first day together, and put on some brown eye shadow with her natural lip color.

Ben was already cooking dinner while she was finishing up her look, so she decided to do her hair up different. Rey braided across the top of her head so that she looked like she had a braid tiara. She took the rest of her hair and made an elegant twist bun with it, using the remaining braided part to wrap around it.

She entered the kitchen and smelled all sorts of delicious smells emanating from the food Ben was preparing. "Wow! it smells amazing in here!"

He turned around smiling at her compliment and froze, eyes wide in astonishment. **"Rey... You look amazing."**

They both blushed and Rey embraced him briefly, "Thank you. What are you making my love?"

He stayed red in the face while explaining. **"This is baked salmon in a herb-butter sauce, with glazed carrots and mashed potatoes. Hopefully Finn likes this, I don't know his preferences."**

Rey beamed up at him, "I'm sure he'll enjoy this very much. Thank you for making it and for caring so much about making a good impression."

Ben looked away for a second before saying, **"I know how important he is to you. I know that he will always be a part of your life Rey. I want to show the both of you that I'm willing to make the effort to be a part of your lives. I don't want to live my life full of hate and anger anymore, I'm so much more than my emotions have made me out to be in the past. I'm trying to be the best version of me that I can... all for you sweetheart."**

He hugged her tightly and slowly kissed her lips, savoring the feeling of her light surrounding him like a cocoon of safety and love.


	21. Dinner Plans

Author's note: Hey! Somehow I wrote this chapter a while back and it never got uploaded=,( Anyway here it is and hopefully now it makes more sense haha. Comment/ review and enjoy, thanks!

Chapter 21: Dinner Plans

Ben continued cooking while Rey went outside to find Finn. She found him organizing his bag of possessions to take on their mission.

"Come on Finn, dinner's almost ready. Let's go ahead and set the table." Finn looked up to see her smiling.

"Okay Rey, I was just double checking to make sure that I have everything I might need." He got up off of the floor of the ship and followed his friend.

They walked into Ben and Rey's ship immediately entering the kitchen area. Ben didn't acknowledge their arrival due to being too nervous and not knowing what to say.

Rey got out what they needed, plates, napkins, silverware and cups. Her and Finn had the table in the small kitchen set in no time.

They went ahead and sat down chatting casually about how nice it was on Takodana and about how there were no dangerous animals to worry about here.

Ben had finished cooking and begun to serve the food onto the plates. When he was done with that, he got out some white wine and poured the drinks.

Everyone started eating, clearly enjoying the food.

Finn was the first one to speak after all three of them were sitting down. "Thank you guys for the food, it's delicious." He was smiling and looking back and forth from Rey to Ben.

"Well Ben is the one who made everything. Thank you Ben, it really is wonderful." She nudged his arm with her elbow to get him to respond.

He looked up from his plate at Finn, **"Thank you, that is very kind of you to say."** He looked back down at his plate nervous and uncertain how to act.

Rey decided that perhaps the best way to get the conversation going would be to get it moving herself. Her only issue was that she had no idea what common ground the two of them could possibly have.

She attempted to talk about the different planets that she would like to see one day, and the different vehicles that she would need for their different terrains.

Finn was intrigued, but Ben just sat there in silence. Rey was starting to feel agitated towards his seemingly lack of effort.

At one point Rey decided to interject him into the conversation weather he wanted it or not. "What do you think Ben?"

He was obviously caught off guard and cleared his throat, **"Well, I think that no matter where you decide to go, you can always rent the vehicle you might need for however long you need it for, so you don't have to worry yourself about owning them beforehand."**

"I suppose that's true." Rey decided to get him to pick the next topic for discussion. "Ben, is there anywhere you would like to go?"

He was quiet for a moment while in thought. Then he looked at Rey while stating, **"I would like to visit Naboo, that is where my grandmother lived and is buried. It would be a very sentimental visit."** He briefly looked at Finn and could tell what he was thinking just by the expression on his face.

 **"Yes, I'm talking about my mother's mother. She was once queen of Naboo and even served as a senator."**

Finn nodded and continued to eat, not knowing how exactly how to respond to Ben discussing his lineage.

"Oh wow, I never knew that! Well that sounds like a great idea for a trip, once this war is finally over." Rey beamed up at Ben. She admired so much about him and there was no doubting that he came from an interesting lineage of people.

The trio continued to eat and drink a lot of wine collectively. Rey thought it was delicious and kept drinking it even after she realized the effect it was having on her.

The two men had begun going over the mission plan that would occur in two days time. They were fine-tuning the backup plans for if things didn't occur ideally.

Rey listened and was taking it all in, but was also sipping on wine for the entirety of the conversation, not having anything to add.

Once their discussion was complete and they were in agreement, Ben went to pour himself some more wine and discovered that the bottle was empty.

Rey saw this and chuckled at his confused expression. She hiccuped and Ben looked questioningly at her. **"Rey.. did you drink the rest of this?"**

She grinned guiltily at him. "Yeah I probably did hehheh."

He chuckled at her goofy response and how she was slightly swaying in her seat. **"Oh yeah? How do you feel?"** He said while watching her.

"I feel super weird, but in a great way hahaha!" She beamed at both Ben and Finn.

Finn shook his head at her, "I can't believe you managed to drink all of that by yourself. That was nearly a half bottle!"

 **"Yeah neither can I actually. Well you are going to feel terrible tomorrow, so the sooner you get to bed, the better off you'll be."**

"Ugh fine." She rolled her eyes drastically. "Before I go there is one thing I want to tell Finn."

Ben started to clean up the mess from dinner while waiting on Rey to go to bed.

Rey scooted closer to Finn and tried to whisper to him, however her inebriated state made her whisper still loud enough for Ben to hear.

"Finn, I wanted to tell you how come I was so drawn to Ben. I found out that we both grew up lonely and knew exactly how each other felt. We are cut from the same cloth."

Ben blushed and scooped Rey up before she could say anything else. **"Okay Rey, say goodnight it's time for bed."**

She squirmed for a second, but soon accepted that he was taking her there no matter how much she refused.

He laid her down on their bed in their room and tucked her in. **"I'm going to finish cleaning up and then I'll bring you some water. You stay here and try to get some sleep. I love you."** He kissed her lips before disappearing out of the door.


	22. Mission Preparations

Chapter 22: Mission Preparations

Ben had returned from assisting Rey to bed and had decided on washing the dishes. Meanwhile, Finn took the dishrag and decided to dry them as they were washed. They did this in complete awkward silence, due to their uncomfortable past history and Rey's recent confession about what her and Ben had in common.

They were almost finished when Finn finally spoke. "There is something I've been wanting to ask you since dinner." He glanced at Ben quickly before focusing on the dish he was drying again.

Ben looked up questionably at him. **"Really? Well go ahead and ask it then."**

Finn shifted uncomfortably before pressing on. "The plan that you and Rey made... you promise that you aren't trying to take her to the First Order as a prisoner right? I just need to hear you say no and I'll believe you." Finn's expression was anxious and worried.

Ben turned to look him directly in the eyes while stating, **"No. I promise that what we told you is exactly both of our intentions. We are going to deceive them while they believe that I'm still on their side. I can promise you Finn that I'm no longer fighting for the First Order."** Ben's expression remained serious.

Finn nodded his head. "That's what I thought. Hearing you say it helps me believe it, so thank you for obliging me." Finn looked back at the dish he was drying avoiding looking at Ben.

Ben nodded and also returned to washing for a few moments before speaking again. **"I've been thinking recently... I don't feel like Kylo Ren anymore. Rey doesn't love Kylo, she loves me as Ben Solo, so that's who I'm going to be for her. Please feel free to call me Ben as well. I think it will make her happy."**

He looked at Ben in surprise but he understood how he must feel. After all, Finn cared deeply for Rose in the same way. "Okay I will."

The two men finished cleaning up everything not long after. Finn said that he would see Ben sometime tomorrow, after contacting the General, and disappeared out the ship's entrance.

Ben quietly walked to his and Rey's room, laying down beside her without waking her up. He spooned his love and fell asleep faster than he could ever remember doing.

The next morning, Rey had a terrible headache so Ben fetched her some cold water to drink, while he made her a protein rich breakfast. She managed to eat without feeling too nauseous and slowly began to feel better.

Her and Ben started the discussion of what their backup plans would be, if certain things went wrong on their mission tomorrow. After about an hour, they had taken careful consideration of every detail and possibility, feeling tired from all the thinking.

Rey snuggled close to Ben on the small bench seat in their kitchen area. "I really hope this goes according to plan. I'm terrified that someone might hurt you." She looked up into his face with small tears forming in her eyes.

 **"I will be extremely careful and make sure nothing happens to me. After all, that's why I need you with me there Sweetheart. You are the only one who could help me if something were to happen."**

He held the side of her face with one of his large hands, wiping away a tear that slid down her cheek. He gazed lovingly into her eyes. **"I have you so I'm not afraid. We will be successful and destroy the First Order. We will be able to live the life we've always wanted and free the galaxy from tyranny once and for all."**

They leaned in towards each other, their lips meeting together tenderly, full of love and for fear of what could come tomorrow.

The pair went outside to meditate by their favorite tree, as was their usual morning routine. They both were wearing white flowing tunics with brown pants, Rey with her brown boots and Ben with his black ones.

They meditated for an hour and proceeded to lay down in the cool grass beside the tree. Ben had his arms crossed behind his head for support, while Rey had her head on top of Ben's chest. They stared up at the sky, enjoying its tranquil beauty. A clear contrast for how tomorrow was sure to feel.

Finn made his way over to them, waving once in their field of vision. "Hey guys, I was finally able to contact the General about our mission for tomorrow. She gave us the go ahead that they wouldn't interfere with anything, but she forced me to accept at least one X-Wing as fire support. I gave her the coordinates and the time of our mission so all I have to do is contact the pilot when it's go time."

Rey sat up and nodded her approval, her expression anxious. "Having fire support will be extremely helpful once we are trying to make our departure. They will surely be after us by then."

The two men nodded in agreement, Ben sitting up now as well.

 **"I suppose all that's left now is to prepare one of these ships with supplies, in case it suffers damage and we have to crash land somewhere."**

Before Ben could stand Finn spoke. "Well the General did request one other thing from us..." Rey and Ben looked at him in confusion. "She wants to speak with you Ben, before tomorrow."

Ben shifted uncomfortably but slowly nodded his head without looking at Finn. He wondered what his mother wanted to speak to him about.

Finn handed Ben the comm-relay he had used to contact General Leia with. "Rey and I can prepare you guy's ship for tomorrow. It's the only one big enough for all three of us anyway."

Finn departed towards Rey's old ship in order to retrieve all of the extra supplies that were inside. Rey waited until Finn was out of earshot before talking.

"Ben, are you going to be okay?"

 **"Yes... of course Sweetheart, it's just a quick conversation. I'll be fine."** He gave her a half smile which she returned, before heading off in the direction that Finn had gone.

Ben pushed the button on the device, **"This is Ben Solo requesting to speak with General Leia Organa."** He waited for a few minutes before a voice he hadn't heard in many years came out of the device.

"Hello son, it's good to hear your voice." She sounded aged and wary but he could still feel the love she had for him in her voice.

 **"Hello mother, it's good to hear you too."** He was unsure how to continue or what she wanted from him.

"Ben, I just wanted to say thank you for your previous message. Also that I forgive you for everything that has happened. You will always be my son and I love you."

He couldn't stop the hot tears that flowed easily from his eyes. His heart felt open and raw with the reminder of his sins. He murdered his father who was only trying to save him and he made his own mother a widow. His shoulders began to shake uncontrollably as sobs broke free.

Leia could hear her son's sorrow and felt him in the force so she pressed on. "I know how you feel and that proves to me that you are not lost to the dark side. You have finally been brought back, just like your father wanted. He would have been proud of you, for facing what you have done head on. I'm proud of you too, for taking on the First Order almost by yourself and for finding such a great girl."

At the mention of Rey, Ben couldn't help but smile through his tears.

"You better hold on to her, treat her right and don't do anything stupid like Han did." She chuckled reminiscing about Han's past mistakes, remembering them fondly.

 **"You don't have to worry about anything like that. I would rather die than make her sad mother. She is everything to me, she is the one who brought me back from the dark. I may never be fully light in the force, but as long as I have Rey, I will find balance and be a grey jedi."**

Leia was silent for a moment. "That's all I could have ever wanted from the two of you. I love that girl as if she were my own daughter. I have one simple request for the two of you if I may ask."

 **"What is it?"** Ben was worried but was unsure why exactly.

"Please let me be present when you two decide to get married, or whatever ceremony you decide to do."

Ben was beyond surprised. Wasn't she jumping to conclusions a bit too soon?

 **"Uh... we haven't talked about anything like that yet. When the time comes, yes mother you can be present."**

Leia was beaming but knew that she had embarrassed him. "Well I won't keep you away from her any longer. I advise you to go ahead and discuss it with her today before your mission tomorrow. Oh and Ben?"

 **"Yes mother?"**

"I love you dearly, may the force be with you."

 **"I love you too mother. May the force be with you as well."**


	23. Thinking of the Future

Chapter 23: Thinking of the Future

Ben laid back down on the cool grass to allow the tide of emotions to wash over him. After almost an hour, he had accepted everything his mother had told him and actually felt quite airy inside. Usually his emotions felt as if they were weighing down on his conscious, but now he felt lightweight.

He got up and walked over to his and Rey's ship. He reached out with the force, feeling their two force signatures moving around at a busy pace. They were organizing and putting away supplies.

 _ **Rey, would you like me to help you two with the supplies?**_ He asked across their bond.

Rey was silent for a moment. _Actually, me and Finn are just about finished. You're welcome to come inside though, you know that right?_ Her voice chuckled in his head and he relished it's sweet sound.

Ben stepped inside going to the cargo hold where they were busy organizing what they had brought in.

"We have plenty of water and food portions, as well as, supplies for making campfires, makeshift shelters, staying warm at night and tools for fixing the ship, should we need it. Our sabers are in the kitchen and so is the blaster Finn will be using should he need that. We should be ready to go at dawn." Rey was reporting to Ben since he had missed out on them taking stock of what they had.

 **"Excellent, nice work you two."** Ben was listening but also seemed distracted. He did manage a small smile at Finn who seemed ecstatic to see Ben's approval of their work.

 **"Rey, I'm going to Temmok for something specific. I'll be back within an hour, possibly sooner. Please stay here with Finn, I'm sure he would enjoy some time with just you."** Ben continued smiling at the two friends. He hoped that they would enjoy this time together while he took care of his errand.

Finn smiled back at Ben. It was clear that he enjoyed the idea of him and Rey hanging out like old times.

Rey nodded but her expression was slightly worried. _Ben? Are you sure you're alright? I'll be happy to stay here, but please tell me you're not going to leave permanently._

Ben was shocked by her statement through their bond. It suddenly dawned on him, he had never gone anywhere without her, since they had decided to be together. Of course she would be worried about being abandoned, it was an emotional scar that had cut her so deeply, that she may never completely heal from it.

Ben couldn't help himself. He briskly walked over to her embracing her in a tight hug, before grabbing hold of her hands in his and staring into her eyes with all the passion he could show her.

 **"I'm coming back Rey, you know that I could never leave you. I promised you remember? If it eases your mind to know why I'm going, than i'll tell you. I'm getting you a gift before we have to leave tomorrow morning. It's something... special."** He beamed at her, his eyes dancing in excitement over getting his love something so sentimental.

Rey smiled back at him warmly. "Okay, I can't wait to see what it is. Also thank you for reassuring me, I really needed that."

Ben squeezed her hands tenderly before letting go and walking out of the cargo hold. He kept up a brisk pace as he exited the ship, and throughout the journey to Temmok.

Meanwhile, Rey and Finn lounged around the kitchen of the ship. They were sipping Tea and discussing what they would like to do after the war was over.

"I haven't really thought much about the specifics of what I would want to do. All I know is that I want to be close to Rose, if she'll have me...heh." Finn laughed nervously rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

Rey chuckled at him. "Finn I don't think you have to worry about that. She saved you from sacrificing yourself on the battlefield and kissed you afterwards. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't really care for you."

He smiled at her. "Yeah, you're right Rey. I don't know why I'm so worried that she doesn't."

"Maybe it's because she's the first woman you've ever liked before." Rey blushed slightly, knowing that this was exactly how she felt about Ben.

Finn blushed and looked at Rey with wide eyes, knowing that this was indeed the reason for his insecurity over Rose. "Yeah, that must be it..."

"Rey... can I ask you something?" Finn had been wanting to ask his friend for advice for a while now, but she was hardly ever alone these days.

"Yes of course you can Finn, what's on your mind?"

"How did you know that you loved Ben? I know it must have been extremely hard for you, giving the circumstances."

Rey sipped her drink thinking for a moment. "Well, if I'm being honest... it was easier than you think. We started having the force bonds and slowly got to know each other through them. I suppose the force gave us an edge over your average relationship."

She chuckled continuing on, "I knew I loved him when he told me, that he was willing to leave the First Order so that we could be together."

Finn nodded looking into his tea, deep in thought over his relationship with Rose.

Ben had arrived in Temmok and was only in town for five minutes, before he saw the store he was looking for. Going inside, he saw large glass cases filled with different kinds of nice and expensive jewelry.

He bee lined towards the rings and within a few moments, had found the one he knew was the one for Rey. He quickly bought the ring, which had a bright yellow diamond in the center of a silver rose, and the band was braided with two silver bands and one rose gold one. It was as beautiful as Rey in Ben's eyes.

He left the small town, continuing his brisk walk back to his and Rey's ship. He was both anxious and ecstatic to give his present to Rey and ask her the most important question he could ever ask.


	24. My Light, My Love

Chapter 24: My light, my love

Ben arrived at his and Rey's ship and found the two friends laughing and sipping Tea. Upon Ben's arrival, Finn made an excuse to leave for the evening and headed toward his ship.

As soon as Finn disappeared out the ship's door, Ben sat down next to Rey on the kitchen bench. He had picked up some food while he was in town. It was the same noodles in sauce that they had enjoyed on their day trip to Temmok not too long ago.

He got out some silverware, plates, cups and poured their drinks. While Rey started eating, he brought out some candles from a storage compartment, lit them and placed them on the table.

Rey eyed the soft glow of the candles, "Oh that's beautiful." Her gaze towards Ben was gentle and full of admiration. Weather towards him or the candles, he wasn't sure.

 **"Not nearly as beautiful as you, Rey."** He was desperate for her to understand how much she truly meant to him. He would gladly spend a lifetime trying to make her understand how unique and wonderful she was and how much he cared for her.

She blushed and giggled. "Ben you are so kind towards me, are you sure it's true or are you just trying to flatter me?" She eyed him playfully.

 **"Of course it's true. I would never lie to you just to flatter you. I have much more integrity than that."** He pouted playfully back at her in response.

She laughed and play-hit his arm. He grabbed the spot where she hit him, dramatically pretending like she had really hurt him. This caused both of them to burst out in laughter.

They continued to finish their meal while discussing lighthearted topics about their childhoods. This mostly consisted of Ben telling Rey what things were like in the society he grew up in, with her asking many questions.

Once finished, they quickly disposed of their meal and cleaned up together. They decided to go into their shared bedroom to lie down and relax for the evening.

Rey had slipped into a silk nightgown that was pale blue, while Ben had simply taken off his boots and socks. Rey had already made herself comfortable on the bed and was busy taking down her hair.

Ben was so occupied watching her every move, that he had temporarily forgotten about his gift for her. She realized that he was gawking at her and gave him a wink.

He cleared his throat nervously and apologized for staring. "Ben, you don't have to apologize about looking at me. I like that you look at me like that." She blushed looking away.

He took this time to finally gather the courage to make his move. **"Rey... there is something I want to ask you."**

She made eye contact, a curious expression played across her face. "What is it Ben?"

He swallowed thickly, his nerves trying to get the better of him. He sat on the bed next to her, taking her hands in his and holding them tenderly.

 **"Rey... I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. You have brought me up out of the darkness and are continuing to help me find balance. You are my light, my love and everything I've ever needed in life. I can't imagine my life without you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"**

She was silent for a brief moment while she took in everything he just said. "Of course I will Ben! I love you so much too and I don't want to live a life without you either." She leapt on top of him, pushing his body down onto the bed, kissing him passionately.

She tugged at his shirt suggesting that she would like it off, so he sat up and they took it off. He then gently placed his hand on her chest to make her pause for a moment. His hand went into his pants pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box, which he handed to her.

Rey opened it and gasped. She pulled out the ring and asked Ben, "I love it, it's so beautiful and perfect. Which finger does it go on?"

He helped her put it on her ring finger and they both took time to marvel at how it looked on her delicate but strong hand.

She beamed up at Ben lovingly and kissed him again, this time slow and sensually. She flung off her nightdress and Ben took off his pants simultaneously.

Their lips met again, so thirsty for one another that it almost pained them to be apart.

The pair took off the remaining clothes they had on, all the while still connected by their lips. Large, strong hands caressed a feminine back, while delicate hands tangled in dark wavy locks.

Before long, the tension was becoming too much to withstand. Rey laid on her back with a loving gaze in her eyes, looking up at her love.

Ben nodded in unspoken understanding. He slowly penetrated her making both of them moan out in pleasure.

He set the pace, which was slow and sensual almost like a new form of meditation. She began to lift her hips up to meet each one of his thrusts.

They continued on like this for a while, simply enjoying the feeling of each other's bodies.

Their force bond between them hummed in delight. It was open and powerful, yet somehow they had never realized that it did this, during their intercourse.

It suddenly dawned on them that they could feel the sensations that the other person was experiencing. It was like they had discovered a whole new aspect of their bond.

They kept the pace the same but the combination of feeling each other's pleasure was catapulting them towards their climaxes.

In a matter of seconds, they simultaneously reached their peaks, borderline screaming out their pleasure.

The pair collapsed next to each other in bed, breathing heavy. They didn't bother to dress as they spooned and took time to soak in their bliss.

Rey noticed how the force seemed to hover around them, feeling airy and warm. "Hey Ben?"

Ben opened an eye to look at her, **"Mmh?"**

"Do you feel it too? The force feels different around us."

 **"I feel it. We unlocked a new ability with our force bond just now. We must have gathered Force energy around us when we did so."**

She turned around in his arms so as to look into his face. "Ben, I'm really excited to become your wife, so you have to promise me that you'll survive through tomorrow." She looked to be on the verge of tears.

 **"Oh sweetheart, of course I promise. Please don't cry, everything will be okay because I have you with me."** He hugged her tightly and wiped the tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course, you're right Ben. I love you and I'm glad that I have you with me as well."

Ben spooned Rey until he could hear her soft, deep breathing indicating sleep. He carefully and quietly got up and went into the other bedroom across the hall.

There was a chest at the end of the bed, where Ben had been keeping a project he had been working on.

Ever since the day he studied Rey's Jedi texts, he had been slowly putting pieces together to craft himself a new saber. The only problem was that he only had one kyber crystal, his bled one.

He was determined to fight tomorrow with a freshly crafted saber that matched his newly balanced self. He had already disassembled his old saber and used most of it for parts for his new one.

He sat on the bed with his kyber crystal in front of him. He begun to meditate and found that it was becoming easier for him to get into a deep meditative state. His body slowly lifted off of the bed and hovered in the air. The kyber crystal followed.

Ben was going to attempt what only few light users have been able to do, heal a bled kyber crystal and restore it to it's natural state.


End file.
